


Saving Lucifer

by IsaRay946



Series: A Wayward Nephalem [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Demon battle, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family Drama, Gabriel - Freeform, Heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:14:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 38,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaRay946/pseuds/IsaRay946
Summary: Book 3 of A Wayward Nephalem.Angel Winchester is currently fighting to obtain her family's help in saving a child.  Usually this would be a battle the Winchester's would accept, no questions asked. But when it comes to saving the spawn of Satan, the battle comes from within the family.Refusing to ignore the child just because its Lucifer's child has earned her the cold shoulder from everyone she loves.  Feeling alienated and alone she turns to the only person willing to talk to her. But can she trust anything he says? Can she truly trust the devil or is she risking her relationship with her husband and family because Lucifer slithered his way into her mind?I do not any images used within this story. Images found within this story are found on Google.I do not own the image used in the cover photo.  Same goes for the characters in this series, they are the property of CW's Supernatural TV show, with the exception of Angel, Azriel, and Abigail. They are of my own creation.
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character & Lucifer
Series: A Wayward Nephalem [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200683





	1. Chapter 1




	2. Broken Angel

It's been a few weeks since I allowed myself to dream walk to Lucifer. After talking to everyone about my meeting with him and what he showed me, I had everyone, including Castiel, upset with me.

_Willingly allowing him into your mind? How can you be so careless?_

Dean was the one most upset with me. He hasn't talked to me since that conversation. Chuck and Gabriel have both kept their distance, they've popped in here and there to check in but for the most part, they keep to Castiel. Castiel hasn't stopped talking to me, his wife, but he has made his disapproval very clear.

Bobby, Sam, and Jody have kept their opinions to themselves, although, I know they don't approve. Everyone wanted Lucifer dead and now here I am considering handing over him a vial of my son's grace. The grace that is an entirely new line of angelic. Grace so strong that Chuck himself can't control it.

But it would be for a good reason, right? That is if the reason given is true.

During my first encounter with dream walking, Lucifer pulled me into a dream state. He somehow forced himself into my dreams, that is where he revealed to me that he has a daughter. One who is not developing as she should be. One that he fears will not survive.

Today was Castiel's day with Azriel. He decided he wanted to start taking daddy/son days to build a strong bond with him. With the free time I've had when he has him, I've been making the safe room a comfortable place to be if the time arises where we have to spend a long period of time in there.

Dean had planned on decorating and furnishing this room for me as a surprise but in light of recent events, that plan has ceased. He tossed everything he and Sam bought in here and basically told me to do what I wanted with it. So, to keep my mind busy and off of the pain of my family slowly alienating me, I have spent my time in here decorating and listening to music.

I've set up the few cots around the room donned with blankets. Bins were stacked in one corner, each filled with something different. One was filled with pillows, one with extra clothing for me and Azriel, and one with extra clothing for Sam and Dean, just in case. Other bins were consisting of pass time supplies such as games and books. I've created a bookshelf on one wall that held lore books on open shelves and in closed cabinets towards the bottom, those consisted of tools and supplies needed for spells, enchantments, sigils, protection, salt rounds, and so on. Guns and weapons were tucked away in a compartment under the floor, hidden under a rug with one of the cots on top of it. Among the other things, I made sure to have a portable playpen that stays folded up against the wall until needed and a bassinet for Azriel.

The guys really outdid themselves with this room and the things Dean bought to make it homey, well, if one didn't know it was a safe room, they probably would never guess that it was. The exterior of the safe room was hidden with siding that matches the house, making it look as if it's just the house on the property.

Standing near the entrance through the closet in Azriel's nursery, I looked over the room once more before stepping through the closet door. Snapping the false wall back into place, moving the hanging clothes back in front of the wall, I closed the door to the closet. As I turned around, I was met by Castiel standing in the doorway holding Azriel.

"Hey." He greeted me quietly.

"Hey, Cas." I smiled walking towards him. He moved past me and laid Azriel in his crib. I turned and watched him wind up the angel mobile that hangs above the bed.

Once we were in the hall, I reached his arm before he could walk away. Stopping but not turning to face me, he said,

"Not now, Angel." he slipped out of my grip and I watched him walk away from me down the hallway and disappear around the corner.

Feeling my heart begin to break, the pain that I had been pushing away from everyone ignoring me for weeks finally spilled over. The tears began to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill over and down my face. Not knowing what to do, walking into my bedroom, I lay down and allow myself to go to a place where I know someone will talk to me even if he's only doing so to get my help.

"Angel? It's been weeks. I was beginning to think you were never coming back. Are you wanting to go to my daughter?"

"No."

"What? Then why are we here?"

Not able to hold myself together any longer, I cracked, breaking down in front of the devil. To my surprise, he rushed over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders, and tried to get me to look at him.

"Angel, what's going on?"

Not looking up, feeling ashamed for turning to Lucifer for comfort, I continued to stare at the ground as the tears fell from my eyes, dripping down my nose.

Lucifer placed his finger under my chin gently lifting my face to meet my eyes. His eyes were filled with concern as he looked back and forth between mine. Can the devil be concerned about anyone other than himself?

"Talk to me." he spoke softly.

"That's just it, no one else will talk to me." I cried softly.

Removing his hand from my chin, he sat down at the picnic table and patted the seat next to him. Sitting down, he wrapped an arm around me and held me close as I cried into his shoulder. After gaining my composure, I sat up, wiping the tears from my face, and began to apologize.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here."

"If no one else is willing to be there for you, who can you turn to but if only the little devil on your shoulder?" he chuckled, gently elbowing my side.

Laughing at his ridiculously ironic joke, I stood, facing him.

"This would just make things worse. They hate that I want to help you let alone cry on your shoulder."

"Angel, I know I'm not the most trustworthy guy but this isn't just some world that I want to take over and destroy. This is my daughter. My flesh and blood. This is my second chance at making things right. She wouldn't have been given to me if she wasn't meant to be here, right? God is the one who creates all life, isn't that right?"

Staring out over the lake thinking about what was just said, I sat back down.

"Ok. Let's go with your theory. Chuck allowed you to create life. You're Lucifer, the most hated being in the world, amongst most. Why would the man who kicked you from Heaven, damning you to hell for all eternity allow you to procreate?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." he shrugged. "All I know is as soon as that little girl was conceived, I felt it. I felt her. And I felt different. As she grew and developed, I began changing. I was called soft for not stirring up trouble anymore. That whole ruse with you guys under the bridge? That was just me pacifying the demons for a while to shut them up. But then the fight happened. You were changed and once that happened, I felt a shift in the universe. That's when I had to learn more, I had to know if whatever happened to you could help my daughter."

Listening to him talk, I watched his emotions and eyes. Knowing he was a professional at deceiving people and making them believe whatever he wants them to, I studying him thoroughly. The only thing I could see radiating from him was the determination of a father's love. It was at that moment that I decided I was going to help his daughter no matter what anyone else thought. My son was ok with it, why should I care what everyone else thought?

But that was just it. I did care. I cared because they are my family and they are acting as if I'm this horrible person now. Someone they can't stand being in the same room with.

What if Lucifer has changed? What if he isn't the same evil devil he is known as? What if this is the deciding factor of him walking a straight path or falling back into his devilish ways? What if I'm the one who decides his fate, in the Nothing or not?

"I've got to get back."

Lucifer smiled as he nodded in acknowledgment.

"It may not mean much but thank you."

Confused, I asked, "For what?"

"For turning to me. I know I'm the last person anyone would ever turn to for comfort." He stood and made his way to the tree line.

I awoke to Castiel standing at the bedside watching me.

"Were you watching me sleep?" I asked kind of freaked out.

"You went to him, didn't you?"

"Cas,"

"Angel, why can't you see he's using you? Why can't you see that you're tearing your family apart?" He walked towards the door, before exiting the room he turned and asked one last question. A question that broke my soul.

"Why can't you see that you're breaking our relationship?"

He walked away without letting me respond. I rushed towards the door, standing in the hallway I felt the tears spilling over my eyes and down my face once more as I felt my heart shatter into pieces.

_Why can't anyone see that I only want to help an innocent child? It's not her fault her father is the devil._

Wiping the tears away, I turned back towards my room. My hand wrapped around the vial I still wore around my neck for safekeeping. Gabriel helped me enchant the chain so it wouldn't break and get lost.

"Hey, kiddo."

Those words had me swinging around to face Gabriel. He stood leaning against the frame of the doorway to his bedroom.

"Gabe?" I didn't mean for it to come out broken, but my voice betrayed me.

He held his arms out, inviting me in for a hug. Rushing into his arms, the moment my cheek met his chest the dam that held my tears at bay broke. I cried into his shoulder, soaking the clothing he was wearing.

"Hey, shhh." He cradled my head in one hand as he tried to comfort me.

"I don't understand why I'm so hated. I just want to help a little girl." I finally pulled away, wiping my now dripping nose on my sleeve.

Gabriel conjured a box of tissues and handed them to me as he stepped out of the way and motioned for me to walk into his room. I did as he wished and he closed the door behind me.

"You're not hated, Ange."

"Really? Because it sure as hell feels like I am. No one is talking to me. Cas is even brushing me off now. I'm losing everyone I love at once. All because I want to help an innocent child."

"How do you know this child is innocent?" he asked as he sat in a chair next to his bed.

I crawled onto his bed, crossed my legs Indian style, and faced him.

"I saw her, Gabe. He took me to see her."

"And you're positive she is his child." He said as more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. Her eyes... She's his daughter, I know she is. And he is genuine about wanting to help her. Gabe, he loves her. I can see it in him. Come with me. Is that possible? Can I take someone dream walking with me?"

Gabriel held his hands up motioning for me to quiet down. He glanced at his door, snapped his fingers, and turned back to me.

My brows furrowed. My eyes narrowed as I stared at him trying to get a read on him.

"What did you do?"

"Angel proofing. No angel can get in or out without me removing it."

"Chuck?"

"Including him. Your brother's, too."

"Ok, why?"

"You're going to take me to my brother. Lay down. We're going to sleep."

Listening to him, I lay down on his bed still facing him.

"Do you know how to pull someone into your dreams?"

"Yeah, Once I'm aware that I'm dreaming, I think of the person. Concentrate on them and if they're capable, they can follow my waves and appear where I'm at."

Looking impressed, he nodded.

"He has taught you, hasn't he?"

"I know it's Lucifer. I was completely against it at first. But these past few weeks, I've had the time to think about it all. Gabriel, if anything happened to Azriel and Lucifer was the only person who could save him, I'd go to him. I'm sorry, but a parent will do whatever it takes to always protect their child."

And then the realization hit me. I jumped up, running towards the door.

"Open this, I need to get Azriel. Gabriel, open the door!"

"Ange, what are you doing?"

"A parent will always do whatever it takes to protect their child. Gabriel, Cas has been taking Em on these father-son bonding times. What if he's going to take Em from me? I can't lose my son, too. Open the door." I demanded in panic.

Gabriel hurried over to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"He's not planning to take him from you. One, you're my best friend, I'd never allow him to do that to you. And two, I'd never allow him to take Azriel's mother away from him."

My chest was tightening, I couldn't breathe. The anxiety and panic continued to rise within me. I needed my son. I began to push against his chest to break free of his grip. Before I realized what he was doing, he had placed two fingers on my forehead and forced me to sleep.

I appeared at the lake. Looking around, I was alone. I willed myself to wake up but it wasn't working. Whatever Gabriel did, locked me in a deep sleep. So, I concentrated on Gabriel.

_I hear you, Ange, I'm sorry but you need to rest. His voice rang in my ears._

"If you can hear me, you can follow my waves, get your ass in here, Gabriel!" I screamed, looking up at the sky as I spun around with my arms wide open.

"I should have known this would be your safe place."

Turning towards his voice, he was standing near the tables looking around.

"What did you do to me? Why can't I wake up?" I stalked over to him.

"It's just a little sleeping spell. It'll wear off in an hour or so."

"Gabriel, if Cas..."

"He won't, Angel."

"Yeah? Well, can't blame me for thinking the worst when everyone has pretty much written me off the past few weeks." I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes towards him.

"Just get Lucifer here."

My eyebrow arched; my head tilted at his demand.

"You don't get to be pissy in my dreams." I bit back but I concentrated and called out to Lucifer anyway.

The bushes rustled behind us, turning around we found Lucifer walking out of the tree line.

"Back so quickly, is everything ok?" Lucifer stated as he reached me. He glanced over at Gabriel and back at me.

"What's he doing here?"

"No one believes a word I'm saying. Everyone basically wrote me off. They haven't talked to me for weeks. Cas talks to me about Azriel, that's basically it. Pretty sure Gabe over here took pity on me when the dam finally broke a bit ago."

"Gabe." Lucifer nodded at Gabriel.

"Luci, shall we sit and chat?" Gabriel's hand gestured towards the picnic tables.

His eyebrows raised when he was close enough to notice the soft cushion on top of the benches.

Shrugging, I said,

"It was too hard to sit on, he taught me how to control things." I motioned at Lucifer.

"I see."

"Right. So, what's he doing here again?" Lucifer asked looking at me, avoiding Gabriel's stare.

"Nuh-uh, if you want her help, you're talking to me." Gabriel demanded.

I looked over to him as I sat down, Lucifer sat across from me, Gabriel sat next to me.

"You're going to allow me to help him?"

"Wait, they're the reason you haven't been back? You're keeping me from helping my daughter?" Lucifer directed his anger towards Gabriel.

"Can you blame us? I mean, you tried killing each of us many times."

Lucifer scoffed at Gabriel's response, crossing his arms in defiance.

"Listen, I don't want to be here with you any longer than I have to be. Just show me what you showed her."

Lucifer stared at Gabriel intently.

"No. I'm not taking you to her."

"Then bring her to us."

"She's too young."

I reached across the table and placed my hand on Lucifer's wrist.

"Just show him. If anyone will get the others to believe me, it's Gabe."

Gabriel's eyes were hard and narrow, his focus on Lucifer's arm where my hand lay. When I sat back, I noticed Gabriel's stare. Meeting his eyes, he glared at me.

"Cozying up to the devil?

Lucifer let out a malicious laugh causing Gabriel and I to break our challenging glares with one another.

"Gabriel is jealous? What is this we have stumbled upon?"

"Don't try driving a wedge, Lucifer. He is here to help you, don't ruin it." I scolded.

I glanced over to Gabriel quickly who was still glaring at me. He rose up off the bench, grabbed my arm, and pulled me up with him.

"We're leaving."

Yanking my arm free, I stepped away from him and said,

"I'm not going anywhere, I'm stuck for an hour, remember?"

Blowing out an angry breath, Gabriel looked at Lucifer.

"Fine. Take us to your daughter."

Lucifer looked at me. I gave a small apologetic smile as I reached for his hand. I slipped my other hand in Gabriel's and waited for Lucifer to take us. 


	3. Breaking Family

Standing in front of the little house with the red door, I dropped both of their hands and walked up onto the porch. Turning around, I waited for the two celestial brothers to stop glaring at one another before they joined me.

Lucifer opened the front door, allowing Gabriel and I to walk through, first. He guided us over to a different corner of the room this time. The little girl was awake and the second she set eyes on Lucifer, she began giggling and reaching for him. Lucifer's smile grew bigger than I had ever seen. Genuine, too. Glancing over at Gabriel, I could tell he was shocked to see Lucifer this way.

Now holding the little girl in his arms, bouncing her, he turned to face Gabriel and me. Her eyes rested on Gabriel; they glowed a dark orange glow. I heard Gabriel's voice catch in his throat. He stepped closer to Lucifer, who took a guarded step back.

"That's close enough, brother." Lucifer scolded, holding the little girl closer to his chest now.

"I need to know she's real, I won't hurt her." Gabriel promised.

I stepped in between the two brothers. Placing my hand on Lucifer's arm and a hand on Gabriel's chest, I began to talk.

"No one is going to hurt anyone here. The goal today is to get someone to back me in giving you what you need." I was focused on Lucifer as I spoke.

Lucifer stared into my eyes questioningly for a moment. He was searching, I could tell. Once he was satisfied with finding now malintent, he let his guard down and turned his body so Gabriel could see the child.

Gabriel stepped beside me, he reached out and placed his palm on top of her head. I tilted my head curiously as I watched the exchange between him and the child. The little girl was looking up at Gabriel smiling. When he retracted his arm, he glanced over to me and nodded.

"I'll be waiting outside."

Looking back to Lucifer confused, I asked,

"What just happened?"

"Pretty sure he read her thoughts as I did with you. Only I had to break into your mind to do so."

"Oh."

"If this were any other circumstance..." he gritted his teeth together as he stared at the now-closed front door.

"Lucifer, if you want my help, you're going to have to work with me. With us."

He placed the child back into her playpen and followed me out of the house. Gabriel was walking around the front yard, no doubt scoping the place as I did the first time I was here.

"What do you mean by that, Angel?" Lucifer caught my arm stopping me from descending the stairs.

Looking back at him, down to my arm in his hand, and yanking it free I said,

"You're going to have to change. If you're ever freed from the Nothing, you have to vow to never invoke evil upon anyone ever again.

Lucifer's eyes bore into mine. I could feel his energy pushing into my head.

"Read my mind all you want; I will open it to you. The only thing you will find is exactly what I have told you."

"Don't you dare open yourself to him. That will allow him in any time he wishes." Gabriel was now in front of us.

"If that's what it takes to save this little girl and get him to give his word on never purposely hurting anyone ever again, so be it."

I turned back to Lucifer lowering my head to him. He placed a hand on either side as I closed my eyes and cleared my mind.

"Angel!" Gabriel yelled yanking me from Lucifer's hold.

Losing my balance, I tripped down the stairs falling to the ground on my hands and knees. A drop of blood dripped from my nose onto the cement under me. Wiping it, I stood, turning back towards the two brothers.

"You're nose," Gabriel reached for me, I knocked his hand away.

"You broke the connection, I'm sure a bloody nose isn't all she's going to have."

Gabriel spun towards Lucifer. I grabbed his arm and yanked him backward.

"Don't touch him." I demanded through gritted teeth.

Gabriel's eyes widened as he looked from me to Lucifer.

"What did you do to her?" he looked up at Lucifer.

"Nothing. I sure as hell didn't hurt her like you and everyone else has done."

"I'm done. I'm done with you all. Gabriel, wake me up. Get out of my dream and wake me the hell up. I want my son. I'm leaving."

"Ange, you can't be serious." Gabriel took a step towards me.

Holding up my hand, he stopped.

"I said wake me up."

He vanished.

"Angel," Lucifer started.

"No, Lucifer. I broke my family's trust wanting to help your child. I'll find a way to help her, but it won't be for you. It will be for that little girl in there. Do you hear me?"

His eyes were glossy, his adams apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. Nodding, he said,

"I've tried it all, but if that's what you have to do to help me, I'll do whatever it takes."

I felt a jolt through my head. Wincing at the pain, I grabbed the sides of my temples.

"We've got to get back to your dream world. He can't wake you from mine." Lucifer grabbed my arm, supporting my weight as he helped me stand.

Once back at the lake he let me go. The pain in my head stopped.

"Call out to me if you need to."

"I don't sleep as much as you may think I do."

"No. He stopped me from completing the reading but a path was opened between us. You can call out to me now."

"I don't want you reading me." I cringed.

"I won't be able to unless you open to me first. He broke that connection."

Before I could respond, I was staring at Gabriel's ceiling. Sitting up, Castiel was standing next to Gabriel with Azriel in his arms.

Glaring at Gabriel, I lowered my feet to the ground and held my arms out to Castiel.

"Cas, I want Em."

"Angel, what's going on?" he asked, not handing Azriel over.

"Give me Azriel." I demanded.

He back away from me as he began to talk.

"I don't know what just happened, but from what Gabriel told me, you're having a breakdown of some sort?"

"Breakdown? Is that what you're calling this, Gabe?" I growled at Gabriel.

"I don't know what else to call this. You're making threats, trusting Lucifer... I don't know what to do anymore, Ange."

"You trust Lucifer?" Castiel asked wide-eyed.

"What's it to you? You're off with our son filling his head with God knows what, you don't talk to me anymore unless it has to do with Azriel, and you've closed yourself off to me. We promised one another we would never do that again, Castiel."

His eyes grew even wider at the use of his full name. He held Azriel out to Gabriel who gingerly took him.

"Take care of him, please, Angel and I need to work some things out."

Gabriel nodded as Castiel grabbed my arm and roughly yanked me out of the bedroom. The door was closed in my face, no doubt reinforced with the same sigil or enchantment used prior to me going to sleep.

Castiel forced me into our bedroom. He closed the door, locking it.

"You think you're going to take our son and run?" he demanded as he angrily made his way to me, grabbing both of my arms, glaring at me as he waited for an answer.

Pushing him back away from me, I began screaming.

"You already ran. You ran from me weeks ago."

"What do you expect me to do? The woman I love is wanting to hand over our son's grace to Lucifer. _Lucifer_! Angel, are you so lost in his lies that you don't see what's going on here?" he was moving closer to me as I backed against the bed.

"You're trusting the man who lies for a living, Angel."

"He's not lying about this. His daughter is real." I argued. "And I'm going to help her."

Those last words had Castiel's eyes glowing with his grace. He grabbed my arms and flung me onto the bed. Holding me down by my wrists and his legs holding my legs down he bellowed,

"You will not help that demon child."

I stared into his grace-filled eyes. Nothing but anger rested behind his grace. No sign of any type of feelings toward me. No sign of love.

"Why did you start taking Azriel alone?" I asked calmly.

He narrowed his eyes in confusion at first. Loosening his grip on me, he released my wrists and sat back on his legs, straddling my stomach.

"Answer me."

"Because I was planning on taking him if I felt you were putting him in danger." he answered quietly.

I propped myself up on my elbows.

"So, it's ok for you to run off with our son but not me?"

"If, Angel. I never said I was for sure. I had to make sure you wouldn't get him hurt."

"Get off of me."

Castiel stared at me for a moment.

"I won't ask again." I said, raising my voice this time.

He climbed off of me and stood by the bed as I sat up.

"Don't let him rip us apart, Angel. That's what he trying to do. Can't you see that?" he pleaded as he sat next to me on the bed.

"That's the thing, Cas. I honestly don't think he is. I truly believe he is genuine. He even told me he'd put his evil doing's away if he were to ever get out of the Nothing."

Castiel scoffed.

Annoyed, I grabbed onto his wrist, pressed my fingers to his forehead, and forced him to sleep.

Laying back, I closed my eyes and called out to Lucifer.

_I don't know if this is how this works, but I'm bringing Castiel with me._

I allowed a few seconds to pass.

_I don't like the idea, but I'll be there when you reach out._

Satisfied with his response, I lay down next to my sleeping husband and willed myself to sleep. Focusing on Castiel, I pulled at his energy. Surging my grace outwards in search of his. Once we connected, I pulled back. He appeared standing next to me at the lake. Our lake.

Confused, he looked around for a moment trying to figure out where he was.

"Angel?" he reached for me but I pulled away.

"You're in my dream."

"This is where you come? He's been here?"

"Don't go getting jealous, little brother, we haven't done anything she hasn't allowed."

Castiel spun on his heel.

Grabbing his arm to stop him from charging at him, I glared at Lucifer.

"Really? Taunting both angels that I brought to try to get them to believe me? You must not want help after all."

Lucifer held his hands up in defense.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry, Castiel, she's right. I was only trying to get under your skin."

"Mission accomplished. Get us out of here, Angel."

"No. I brought you here not just because I need to prove to you the child is real, but now because I feel like..." I raised my arms and dropped them in defeat. Sighing, I took Lucifer's hand, reached for Castiel's hand who pulled away at first as he stared at me holding hands with Lucifer.

"For God's sake." I rolled my eyes. "This phase is behind us. We're married, you fluffy winged jerk." I reached out and forced him to take my hand. Once his hand was in mine, I looked to Lucifer and nodded.

Again, I stood in front of the little house with the red door.

Lucifer walked into the house, straight to the playpen, and picked his daughter up. He brought her to the front door where I stood with Castiel, who refused to enter the house.

"This is my daughter. She's two years old." Lucifer said as he bounced her in his arms.

Castiel stared, bewildered. He held his hands out, asking to hold her.

Lucifer eyed him for a moment, look at me, and back to him.

"Can I hold her?" Castiel finally asked. When Lucifer didn't move, Castiel added, "Please?"

_Angel, if he hurts her..._

His voice made me jump causing Castiel to glance at me. Clearing my throat, I looked away as if nothing happened.

He won't. I replied.

Hesitantly, Lucifer handed his daughter to Castiel. Castiel's eyes lightened as she stared into his. She smiled, pulling at Castiel's tie. Her eyes began to glow as she giggled. Castiel's eyes glowed, alarming Lucifer who stiffened at my side.

"Cas?" I nudged him for his attention.

"Hmm?" he was now giggling with the little girl.

"What were you doing?" I asked.

He looked at me, straightening up his posture as he handed the little girl back to Lucifer.

"I owe you an apology, Angel. A pretty big one." he said looking more ashamed than he ever has before.

"So, you believe me? You believe him?" I gestured towards Lucifer who was now back inside the house with his daughter.

"What I just saw in that little girl's mind..." he trailed off, looking amazed.

"What'd you see?"

"I want to believe it. I just don't know if I can."

Lucifer appeared at the front door, we moved out to the porch as he closed the door. He placed a hand on each of our shoulders and we appeared back at the lake.

"I'll be going now that you've seen what you came for." He nodded to Castiel then looked at me as he backed away. "Angel, you know how to get ahold of me if needed." with those words, he vanished as he walked towards the tree line.

I closed my eyes, willing myself to wake. Once I was back in our bedroom, I reached over and touched Castiel's forehead waking him.

Opening his eyes, he blinked a few times, then sat up.

"What did he mean by you know how to get ahold of him?" he asked immediately.

Sighing, I pulled my hair into a bun.

"When I took Gabriel there, Lucifer was trying to make a connection to see into my mind. I was allowing him to, so he would trust me since Gabriel was saying everything to make him not trust me. While he was making the connection, Gabriel ripped me out of his grip, breaking the connection before it was completed. Somehow, there's still a link, an opening, or something. I can communicate with him through thought like I can with other angels, but with him, it's only if I open my mind up to him first."

Castiel was grinding his teeth and squeezing his fists.

"I'm sorry." I looked down, avoiding his stare anymore.

After a moment, I heard him sigh. He moved closer to me, putting his arms around me.

"No. It's me who should be apologizing."

I felt the familiar tingle in my mind. He opened up for everyone to hear.

"I've been treating you like a terrorist. We all have. We've pushed you away, ignored you, avoided you when you were near. You tried explaining to us until we were all fighting what was happening. You fought to make us see it. You went weeks without sleep to avoid dreaming, just to be sure not to see him. I should have seen it then. You were trying to appease us. We just weren't listening or paying attention."

"What did you see when you were holding her?"

"Cas? What's going on?" We heard Dean calling from a distance. He was most likely still in his bedroom or possibly the living room.

Castiel ignored him and answered me instead.

"I saw her memories. I watched her birth; Lucifer was there through it all. He raised her until he was murdered. He fought tooth and nail to find something to help her. He tried everything possible. He bled his grace for her. He's never willingly bled grace for anyone."

"Cas, we hear you. Can you just open the door so we can all talk?" Sam was knocking on the door.

I ignored the knocks, as did Castiel.

He let me go, his hands falling to mine. Holding my hands in his, he continued.

"I still don't like it. I don't trust him not to go back on his word. But you trust him and I trust you."

More knocking.

"Guys. Just open the door." Dean was now at the door.

"May as well." I said nodding my head towards the door.

Castiel stood, walking to the door and unlocking it. Once he pulled it open, he revealed Sam and Dean, Gabriel holding Azriel, Chuck, and Bobby standing around the doorway.

"Uh, I guess we should all head to the living room?" I suggested as I planted my feet on the carpet, standing.

Once in the living room, I told everyone about me taking Gabriel and Castiel to see Lucifer. I even told them about the open connection between Lucifer and I, which none were too thrilled with but once I assured them that I controlled it, they seemed to ease up on the questions.

"So, we're really going to allow Lucifer to have access to Azriel's grace?" Bobby asked.

"I guess." Dean answered, unhappy with my decision.

"Well alright, you misfits tell me how that goes. I've got to get back to work." Bobby stood.

"Since when do you work?" I asked.

"Well, our kind of work. I've got a demon in my basement; I'm grilling him for answers on this entire situation."

Panic surged through my entire body.

"You told a demon Lucifer has a child?!" I stood, racing to my bedroom.

"Angel, what are you doing?" Castiel running behind me.

"I've got to get to that little girl. She's been put in danger." I pulled my dresser away from the wall.

"How?"

"Think about it. Lucifer had nothing to hold over him, that's why he was so damn powerful which is the reason he is hated so much. Dead or not, anyone Lucifer has ever crossed will want revenge. What better way than to take that revenge?"

Castiel knew he wasn't going to stop me once he saw what I pulled out of the wall from behind the dresser.

"You're taking your Nephalem blade?"

"Well, it is my weapon."

"Where is she being cared for?"

"Pike Creek, Delaware." 


	4. Deceived

Jody walked into the house as I was coming down the hallway to the living room.

"Jody is there any way..."

"No need to ask. Bobby called me, he and I will stay here with Azriel." she smiled as she hugged me.

"You're not upset with me?"

"I never was. Confused, maybe, but never upset. I did try calling to check on you but you never carry that phone with you anymore. I'm sorry, I should have come over."

"No. That wouldn't have been the best idea. Not with what was going on here." My face filled with shame.

"Stop that. You've been following your heart and gut instinct this entire time. That's more than these oafs can say. They acted out of spite and judgment. Never change who you are, Angel."

"I seriously don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you, Jody."

"Jody," Bobby spoke up.

"Can it, Bobby, you weren't any better. Now, let's get that little angel and spend some time bonding, shall we?" She took Azriel in her arms and beamed at the sight of his smile.

"If anything should happen, Bobby knows the ways into the safe room." Dean stated causing me to glance over in confusion.

"What? You think I'm letting my baby sister go save the devil's daughter alone?"

I smiled, giving a slight nod knowing this was Dean's way of trying to patch things between us.

"You guys don't need to come. I can handle this on my own. I know you don't agree with what I'm doing."

"We're all going. You don't know what we'll be walking into. We'll be there to back you if anything happens." Chuck stepped forward from where he was standing.

Shocked but grateful, I smiled and held my arms out.

"I know the house number, city, and state. I don't know the street name but I can ask...?" Waiting for a strong 'no' about opening the connection with Lucifer, but nothing came.

Smiling, nodding, I closed my eyes and concentrated on Lucifer.

_Lucifer, can you hear..._

_-Yes, I'm here, are you coming back to see me?_

_Technically, no. I need the street name the house is on._

_-What? Why? Why do you need to go there in person?_

_Luce, she might be in danger._

I felt a surge of rage push into me, unsteady, I stepped back to gain my balance again. Gabriel stepped forward from behind and reached out to steady me. Turning towards him, I gave a slight smile as I closed my eyes again.

_Listen, a demon is being interrogated and the mention of a possible child of yours was brought up. I want to get to her before anyone else can._

_-Who mentioned her? Anger painted his voice, threatening to spill out._

_Stop wasting time, where is she? She will be safe with me; you know she will be._

No response came. I looked around at the people standing in the living room. Nervously, I sat down and tried picturing the house's surroundings. Frustrated and desperate, I started shaking my leg out of nervous habit.

_-Carthage Avenue. Tell the lady who opens the door that you're walking off the chessboard._

Pausing to think about his comment, I tried to figure out what that meant.

_-Angel?_

_I'm here._

_-Don't go alone._

I looked up at everyone.

"Well? Did your game of telephone work?" Dean asked snarkily.

"He told me not to go alone."

"Then it's settled. Tell us where we're going and let's get there." Chuck was eager. Too eager for my liking.

Sam and Dean ran off to grab weapons and supplies while the rest of us waited where we stood.

"So, anything specific I need to do with this little guy?" Jody asked as she sway back and forth with Azriel.

"Nope. But help yourself to anything, his nursery is fully stocked. So is our kitchen. If you get the urge, you can try to see if he'd like a bottle, though don't worry if he denies it."

Smiling with excitement, she reached out with one arm and hugged me before bouncing off towards the nursery.

"You guys protect her; do you hear me?" Bobby stared Castiel and Gabriel down.

"Bobby, I'll be fine."

"This isn't your normal hunt, Angel, you're going in to save the devils daughter. You have no idea what fresh hell you're walking into. They probably have demons and every creature out there looking for that child."

"That's ok, we have a God." I smirked as I pointed my thumb towards Chuck.

Bobby huffed as he looked at Chuck with narrowed eyes. Without saying a word, he turned and walked into the kitchen.

"Alright, let's get this party started."

Sam and Dean returned with their weapons and bag filled with supplies and other weapons, I'm sure.

Looking at Chuck, trying to decide whether or not I could trust him, I shook the thought from my head.

"Chuck, think you could transport all of us so we don't have to go separately?" I asked hopeful.

"Yeah, address?"

As we appeared in the street in front of the house with the red door, I immediately sensed darkness nearing.

_-Angel, something's close. Are you with her?_

Lucifer's voice was filled with panic.

"Guys, something is coming. We've got to get,"

Suddenly I was flying through the air, the breath knocked out of me from an intense collision. As the stars in my eyes faded and my vision cleared, I saw everyone fighting off creatures.

Looking back to the house, a man was reaching the front door. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to move, appearing between the man and the door. A woman, short with long beautiful red hair and striking eyes opened the door to see what the commotion was.

"Back inside. Take the child and hide."

I had my arms up, using my grace to hold the demon off but he was breaking through.

"Who are you?" the woman asked.

"Lady, go!" I demanded.

She crossed her arms and arched her eyebrow in defiance.

Feeling my hold on the demon falter, I looked at her one last time and screamed,

"I'm walking off the chessboard!"

Immediately, she stood upright, slamming the door behind her, locking it. I could hear her running through the house. Not sure where she was headed, it returned my focus to the battle in front of me, hoping she had a safety plan.

The demon swung at me connecting with my jaw, knocking me back. Using the momentum, I pushed myself off the door and into the demon, causing him to stumble off the porch and fall to the ground. Once on top of him, I threw punch after punch until he caught me off balance, throwing me off.

_-Angel, I sense you're in danger. Is she safe?_

_-Angel? Angel, answer me. She's not sleeping, I can't reach my daughter! She's scared, I can feel it._

_Now's not really a good time to chat, I'm kind of in the middle of something._

I was tossed back into the street, skidding into Dean, causing him to tumble over. The monster he was fighting gained the upper hand, slashing Dean's shoulder with a gigantic yellow claw. The creature looked as if it were a werewolf/hell hound hybrid. As I fought off the demon attacking me, I was able to retrieve my blade from my pantleg just before I heard a gunshot. Turning quickly towards the sound, Sam was standing over Dean as the hybrid creature fell limp on top of him.

Quickly, I turned to face the demon charging at me, I thrust my blade into his chest and watched him burn out of his body.

Running to help move the hybrid off of Dean and get him to his feet, I caught Chuck out of the corner of my eye standing off in the distance just watching.

"Are you kidding me right now?" I screamed as I stalked over to him. "I knew I couldn't trust you. Every fiber in me told me not to bring you along."

"Angel, I will not partake in this battle, it is not mine to fight."

"No?" As I reached him, my hands connected with his chest, pushing him with all of my strength. Catching him off guard, he stumbled backward, eyes flashing with grace as they narrowed into a glare. Steadying himself, he lowered his arms out to his side, fists clenched.

"You will do well to know your place, child." he bellowed at me.

Everyone fighting, humans, demons, angels, all creatures stopped at the booming voice.

"You're nothing but a coward." I defied the God in front of me, charging forward again.

"Angel, no! What are you doing?!" Castiel came flying at me placing himself in between Chuck and I.

"He was just standing there watching us get our asses kicked." I yelled as I tried moving around Castiel, he stepped in my path to block me.

"Move, Cas, or I'll move you myself."

"Angel, stop. This is God you're about to attack."

"Not about to, she already did." Chuck stood, still glaring at me. "Do you realize I could incinerate you with one snap? Are you willing to leave your son motherless over another man's child?"

The rage in me surged.

_-Angel what the hell is going on? Get me out of this damn place. I need out._

"Do it."

"What? Angel, stop this now." Castiel demanded.

Chuck snapped his fingers and all of the demons and creatures exploded into red and black dust. The others joined me in curiosity.

"What's going on?" Gabriel was now speaking.

"She attacked Chuck." Castiel answered without taking his eyes off of me.

"Your Father was just standing on the sidelines watching us battle, not even attempting to help." I glowered.

"Chuck?" Dean was now at my side looking at Chuck for answers.

"This isn't my battle, guys."

"Then why did you come?" Sam asked.

Gabriel was now at my side staring at Castiel. They seemed to be having a silent conversation between themselves.

"I have stood by you since your return. I have followed your orders, done your bidding without question. You swore to me you were here to help keep this family safe. So why do you stand by and watch them get attacked?"

Shock filled my face as Gabriel spoke to Chuck in a questioning manner for the first time.

"Watch your tone with me, son."

"With all due respect, I think you owe us an explanation."

_-Angel?_

_I'm here._

_-What's going on? Do you have my daughter?_

_Not yet._

_-What's going on? Lucifer was getting anxious, his voice breaking as he spoke._

_I ran into a bit of a problem, just give me a minute._

_-What's the problem, maybe I can help tell you how to get around it._

_I attacked Chuck._

Silence.

I continued listening to the exchange between Chuck and Gabriel. Castiel had slowly made his way next to me, facing Chuck.

_-You attacked Chuck? You? What the hell is Chuck doing there?_

_I thought I could trust him since he's been so good about my son_.

_-And I'm the one who's dubbed the king of deceit._

"How do you free someone from the Nothing?"

This question stopped any discussion going on and made everyone's eyes focus on me.

"I know you didn't just ask what I think you asked." Dean stated coldly.

"It's not possible." Chuck answered.

Castiel glanced between Gabriel and Chuck, by the confusion he quickly removed from his face, that told me Chuck wasn't being honest.

"I don't think you're being very honest with us." Crossing my arms, I waited for a response.

He raised his hand, posing his fingers in a snap, and said,

"I can send you there so you can find out."

"Ok fine, do it."

"Angie, stop." Gabriel ordered.

"Why, Gabe? He wants to get rid of me anyway. He never cared about me. He never cared about Azriel. The only reason he's been coming around is to keep tabs on Em because he knows that one day, my son will be strong than he is."

Chuck glared at me. I could see his jaw muscles clench as he ground his teeth into one another.

"Chuck?" Castiel turned his attention to Chuck. "Tell me she's wrong."

"I wish I could."

Using my grace, I pushed myself towards Chuck, reaching him before Sam and Dean, who both charged at him at the same time as I did. The palms of my hands connected with his chest, the force of the blow sent him flying backward, body flailing in the air off balance. Once his body connected with a nearby parked car. He stood with ease, Sam and Dean still charging towards him. Chuck lifted his hand, his middle finger and thumb met, and pushing them together he made them snap.

For a short moment, I could hear Sam and Dean yelling no. I heard Castiel scream my name, and Gabriel was yelling at Chuck. Then it was quiet. Eerily quiet. 


	5. Nothing

Wherever I was, it was dark. Extremely dark. I held my hand up in front of my face, I couldn't see it. I couldn't see anything.

"Hello?" I called out.

Silence.

"Hello?" I called out louder. "Anybody there?"

Silence.

I sat in the same spot for God knows how long, it seemed as if it were forever. Finally irritated with how long it felt like I had been sitting in the dark, I stood and slowly moved forward, holding my arms out in front of me trying to feel for anything in my path.

As I took a step, a light appeared in the far distance. I could see movement in front of the light.

"Hello?"

I heard a slight movement. A light appeared above me, lighting a small area surrounding me. Looking around, I was surrounded by darkness. Nothing was around. The Nothing.

"Who are you and why are you being so loud? Why aren't you sleeping?" a voice asked.

"Who are you? Where am I?"

"I am the Nothing, child. You're supposed to be sleeping. I'm supposed to be sleeping. Why are you awake?"

"I-I don't understand."

The voice grew irritated.

"When angels are sent here, they are sent here for an eternal slumber. Never to wake. Because they've earned it. Now, why are you awake?"

"Maybe because I'm not meant to be here? I don't know. Chuck snapped his fingers and here I am." I shrugged at no one.

"Chuck? Chuck sent you? Why would he send someone to disrupt my slumber?"

"This is the Nothing? The real place?" I asked in disbelief. Chuck was serious about sending me away.

"Nope, this is Disney Land. What the hell do you think this is?"

"Ha. Ha. Look, I didn't know about this place until a few weeks ago, so forgive me for not knowing anything about this or you."

"You're too noisy, I just want to sleep."

"Take me to someone and I promise to be as quiet as I can be from here on out."

"You're not supposed to have company here. You're supposed to sleep. Forever."

"Please stop, just take me to Lucifer and I'll never bother you again."

"Lucifer?" The voice sounded as if it were in shock.

"Please?"

"You willingly want to go to Lucifer? Ok, it's your eternity. You really want to spend it with him instead of alone, in peace and quiet, sleeping?"

"Just take me there or I'll never shut up. I know thousands of songs. Songs from every genre. My favorite is Country, some rock. Oooh, I know some good rock songs, shall I sing to you?"

"Alright. Alright, I'll take you, just... just please shut up."

I waited a few moments until the light above me vanished. A moment later another light appeared, a figure was laying down in the distance. Quietly, I made my way over to the person. Once I got closer, I could see the flannel worn over top the faded green shirt, Lucifer's shirt. Quietly sending a thank you to the voice, I softly lowered myself to my knees and reach out for Lucifer's arm.

"Lucifer." I whispered.

Jumping up in a panic, he whirled around with eyes glowing red. Head tilted to the side; his eyes slowly returned to his normal color.

"Angel?" He reached out and touched my shoulder to see if I was really there.

"How are you here? Why are you here? Is my daughter ok?"

Sighing deeply, I lowered my head in shame not wanting to tell him I failed.

"I'm sorry. I never got to her. I was able to tell the pretty redhead what you told me. She bolted up the house, grabbed your little girl, and took off somewhere. I'm assuming they're safe."

"How are you here? What happened to you? You don't look hurt. How long have you been here?" He grabbed my wrist, moved my arm from side to side, up and down, twisting my body around.

"Lucifer, stop. I'm fine. I don't know how long. I feel like I sat alone waiting for someone to answer my calls for hours, days maybe."

"Time here is different from up on Earth. Why are you whispering?"

"Because I promised the voice I'd be as quiet as possible if it brought me to you."

He blinked; his brows wrinkled as he raised his eyebrows in shock.

"You _wanted_ to find me?"

"Well, you're kind of the reason I'm here. I'm going to get you out of here. What do you mean time is different here?"

Lucifer laughed. Sitting cross-legged in front of me he continued to chuckle.

"What's funny?"

"Because there's no way out of here. And how long have I been dead now?"

"Um, I'm not sure. A year now?"

"Yeah, down here, I've only been here a few weeks, if that. Personal Heavens and here... time basically stops."

"But I thought you told me you'd be free from here soon. In fact, you said my son would be the one to raise you from this place. Oh God, Azriel, if time here is different... I'm going to miss so many of his firsts."

"Hey... He'll be raised well. You know he will."

I chuckled through my worry and pain.

"I never thought I'd be comforted by the devil himself so many times. You know, if I wasn't living this myself, I'd never believe any of this if someone were telling it to me. Some of the things you've done... Some of the things you've said to me."

"I said a lot of things when I was trying to intimidate you. You're not that easy to scare, you know that? It's kind of boring, honestly."

Narrowing my eyes, I glared at him as he spoke.

"What?"

"Was this entire thing just a ruse to get you out of here?"

"What? No. No!" Hands raised in defense, eyebrows raised, and eyes wide, he spoke an urgency in his tone.

"I may be a lot of things, but I wouldn't use my own child as bait. Everything I've said to you, everything I've shown you, it's all true, Angel. I was being honest when I told you she changed me. I want to be good for her. I want to be a good father. I want to be there for her. I want to be for her what my dad never was for me."

"Yeah, your dad is something else." I rolled my eyes with disgust at the thought of Chuck. I could feel the irritation and anger boiling in the pit of my stomach.

"He's why I'm here."

"Dad killed you?"

"If me being here means I'm dead, then yeah, he killed me. But we both know my brothers; they won't stop until they find a way to get me out. And if everything you told me is true... If you're serious about turning a new leaf, leaving the evil-doings behind, for good. I'll make sure you go with me."

Lucifer's face wore multiple expressions, it changes from shock to surprise, thankful to hopeful.

"Why are you fighting this hard to help me? I mean, I know what I've told you and showed you but that doesn't explain why it worked. I know what I've done to you and your family over the years. I know what I've done to a lot of people throughout my lifetime. I don't deserve anything from anyone."

"Now's not the time for self-pity. I'm helping you because I believe you when you tell me you've changed. I'm trusting you, Lucifer. Don't turn this into the classic devil's trick. Because if you do, once I'm out, I will make sure you stay in here and never have the chance to dream walk with your daughter again."

In the blink of an eye, Lucifer was on his feet and had his hand around my throat.

"Don't you threaten my daughter, ever!" He bellowed.

My eyes flashing with my grace, I removed his hand with ease, pushing him away from me.

"I wasn't threatening _her_! I was telling you that you'd never see her again. Idiot. Is it wise to try to attack the one person in this universe that is willing to help you? The one being that is trying to get you out of this place?"

His eyes flashed red as he glared at me but he said nothing.

A vibration of the floor made us look around us to try to see what was going on. It was no use, we were surrounded by darkness except for the small amount of light above us.

"What is this?" I asked looking at Lucifer.

"I don't know, it's never done this before. It's been very quiet here. Quiet and lonely."

"That's because it's supposed to be quiet and you two are disrupting it all." The voice from before bellowed through the air.

Squinting one eye as I covered my head out of reaction, I looked around to try to find the source of the voice.

Lucifer pulled me close to him as the floor began shaking violently enough to cause us to lose balance.

"Hold onto me. In case this thing falls out beneath us, I don't want to get separated," he yelled over the noise.

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I held onto him as I felt the vibrations begin to shake the core of my body. Squeezing his torso, I pushed myself against him as hard as I could in an attempt to stop the feeling of my bones clattering.

"Be quiet!" the voice bellowed and then the vibration stopped leaving the two of us standing there holding onto one another as if our lives depended on it.

Breaking the embrace, I stepped out of his arms and looked around. Nothing.

"So, the Nothing has a temper. Good to know." I said sitting back on the ground.

Lucifer took his place in front of me again, legs crossed, picking at the hem of his shirt. We sat and talked for what seemed like days. He was really opening up to me, showing me a side of him that I was sure no one has ever seen before.

Sighing in frustration, he whined,

"I hate this place. I thought it was supposed to be where beings like us go to sleep for the rest of eternity. Why aren't we sleeping?"

"When I was being yelled at before I was brought to you, the Nothing told me that celestial beings are brought here when they die because they've earned time to sleep. Maybe we aren't done with what we have to do yet? We haven't earned it?" I shrugged allowing my arms to fall and my hands to slap against my legs. "I don't know. Can you sleep at all?"

"Sometimes, mainly when you'd call out to me or when I felt Abigail was sleeping, I'd will myself to sleep but once our meetings were over, I'd wake."

"Abigail?"

"That's my daughter's name."

"That's a beautiful name, Luce. Did her mother name her?"

"I did."

Shocked, I raised my eyebrows before I spoke.

"Really?"

"Yes. It just came to me. It felt I don't know, perfect."

"Do you know what Abigail means?"

"Beautiful. Her name means beautiful." he smiled.

"It also means 'a father's joy'."

"Yeah?" his smile widened.

"Yeah."

I felt a pull in the back of my head. Quickly jerking my head to the side to make it stop, Lucifer asked what was wrong.

"I don't know. An uncomfortable sensation in the back of my head." I said rubbing the base of my head where it meets my neck.

"Someone is pulling you into their dream. You have to give in to the pull if you want to follow the wave. Sleep." He motioned for me to lay down, using his leg as a pillow.

Unsure of whether I should or not, I hesitated.

"Come on, it's not like I can kidnap you. We're both stuck here. We've been in here long enough for you to know I've changed a little, haven't we?"

Giving in, I lay down, resting my head on his leg. Closing my eyes, I willed myself to sleep.


	6. Momma

Walking out of a tree line into an opening, I saw the lake in front of me. Castiel was standing in front of the lake, his hands clasped behind his back, fidgeting with his fingers. As I made my way across the field, past the picnic tables, I stumbled on a twig causing Castiel to turn around quickly.

"Angel!" He exclaimed running towards me.

When he reached me, he wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground, and spun me around. When he set me down, his lips met mine in desperation. I slid my arms around his neck returning the kiss, just as desperate. Breaking our kiss and pulling away from our embrace, he looked me over.

"I'm fine, Cas."

"I've tried so many times to connect with you. We all have."

My brow furrowed; my lips pulled into a frown.

"What? This was the first time I felt anything."

"Where are you?"

"In the Nothing."

"You're not sleeping? How are you awake?"

Shrugging as I began explaining, "I don't know but neither is Lucifer. He told me to will myself to sleep as soon as I felt this pulling in the back of my head."

"You're with Lucifer?" Castiel's eyes darkened as he stepped back from me.

"Cas, do we have to go through this again? I'm so sick of fighting, I'm sick of everyone ignoring me, not wanting me around."

"Everyone wants you back, Angel. We have all tried reaching you. Finding you. I assumed you were sent to the Nothing but Chuck refused to tell us where you were."

"Cas," I reached for his hand, holding it in mine as I spoke softly.

"I'm dead. He didn't just send me there, he killed me."

"No. If you died, our bond would have broken. The three of us are still bound."

"How is Azriel?" Pain twisted in my heart as I said his name.

"He's walking. His first word was Mom."

My hand quickly covered my mouth as my eyes widened in shock. Tears welled up, threatening to spill over and down my face. Closing my eyes tight, the tears fell. Castiel wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back to comfort me.

"How old is he? How long have I been gone?"

"A year."

"No. I've missed his first year." The pain I was feeling in my heart was nothing like I've ever felt before. Not even when my family shunned me. My baby was a year old, he was walking, talking, and I missed it all.

"What all can he say?" I asked as I looked up, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Let's sit down." He walked me to the spot where we first gazed at the stars and then years later got married.

Once on the ground, he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close.

"He says a few things. No full sentences yet but he says Mom, Dad, he calls Dean 'De' and Sam 'am', he' says something that sounds like gail. I assume he's trying to say, Gabriel. But mainly he stumbles and wobbles around saying Mom, gail."

"Gail?"

"Yeah, Gabriel spends a lot of time with him. When Jodi isn't trying to kidnap him anyways." he laughed.

I sat up, turning my body to face him.

"Cas, what if he's not saying Gabriel?"

"What would he be saying?"

"Abigail?" I said picking at my jeans.

"Who's Abigail?"

I looked up at him, the look on his face told me he knew what I was thinking.

"Her name is Abigail?"

Nodding, I told him yes.

He sighed, pulling me back against his chest and held me in silence. We sat there for what seemed like hours, just holding one another, gazing up at the stars. When the silence was broken, he turned me towards him.

"I miss you." he whispered.

Tears began to fall again as he leaned in and kissed me with passion. Both of his hands cupped either side of my chin as he broke our kiss and stared into my eyes.

"I hate where you are and who you're with. I hate all of this. But I will find a way to get you out." He rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm taking him with me."

"What?" he pulled away to look me in the eye properly.

"I trust him, Cas. I'm truly sorry if you don't but please trust me. This little girl changed him. That little girl deserves to have her father, no matter who he is. Right now, she's an orphan."

He glanced off to the side as he spoke.

"She has people who care about her."

"The woman at that house is all she knows, but she's not her mother, Cas."

"That woman is dead."

"What? Is Abigail ok?" I panicked, sitting on my knees.

"Yes. She's safe, Angel."

"How can you be sure if the woman is dead? Where is she?"

"She's living with us."

Staring in his eyes in disbelief, my jaw fell open. I searched his face, his eyes. He was telling the truth.

"When you disappeared, Dean attacked Chuck. Chuck hurt him pretty badly, he almost died. Sam attacked second, when Chuck was getting ready to attack Sam, Gabriel and I both intervened. Chuck being attacked by angels disrupted the Heavenly flow; it alerted the angels. Michael came rushing down to Earth. Once he realized what was going on, he helped us lock Chuck into a cage very similar to Lucifer's."

The expressions on my face must have changed quickly because Castiel chuckled at me but he continued talking.

"Michael hauled Chuck back into Heaven where he is being watched, basically locked in his own Heaven. Gabriel took Dean back to the house; Sam and I went into the little girl's home and searched for her and the woman. When we found the woman, she was dead. Abigail was nowhere to be found. I searched for her for days. I finally found her with one of the demons that used to follow Lucifer. She was unharmed when I picked her up and she looked into my eyes... Angel, all I could think about was if something ever happened to Azriel, I'd do anything in my power to save him. Anything. And that's when I finally understood. So, I took her home with me, promising myself to raise her and keep her safe."

"How is she growing?"

"She's still behind. She looks to be about 2 now. Give or take a few months. She's tall. She walks. Doesn't talk much though."

"I still have the vial around my neck. She needs his grace."

"I know. And so does Azriel. He created another vial when I brought her home. I haven't given it to her."

"Cas," Staring in his eyes pleadingly, "If Em created another one, she's supposed to have it. Please."

"I need to get back. Jodi is with the kids right now. I will find a way to get you out of there, Angel. I promise." He stood, pulling me to my feet. "And Lucifer."

Smiling, I silently thanked him with a kiss. He pulled my body against him, kissing me with passion, with love.

"I love you, Angel. I'm so sorry for how we treated you and made you feel."

"That's for another day. Go take care of our son. Tell him momma loves him and thinks about him every day."

"I will."

"I love you, Cas." Dropping his hands, I walked towards the tree line as I willed myself to wake up. 


	7. Playdate

When I woke up, strong arms were holding me. Sitting up, I realized Lucifer had laid down and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm sorry, you were crying. Like uncontrollably crying. I didn't know what to do." He quickly sat up, scooting away to put distance between us.

Feeling a bit uneasy, I avoided his gaze for a moment.

"I've been here for a year." I finally spoke quietly.

"I was trying to explain the time thing, I'm sorry."

The tears began falling again. I couldn't hold them in.

"I missed the first year of his life. He's walking. Talking. His first word was Mom and I missed it."

"I'm so sorry, Angel."

Pulling myself together, wiping my face dry, I took a deep breath and looked up at Lucifer.

"The redhead is dead. If she meant any,"

Lucifer was fully alert now, focused on me, intently.

"Where's Abigail?"

"She's safe. Cas found the demon who took her, killed him, and took Abigail back to our place with him."

"She's living with Castiel?" he sounded almost offended.

Becoming defensive, I raised my voice.

"She's being raised by my entire family, with Azriel."

His head in his hands, he hung his head low, fingers in his hair.

This angered me more.

"I'm sorry, would you rather her be raised by demons who want revenge on you?"

He shook his head, looking up at me with a sigh.

"No. I'm sorry. I just know how your family feels about me. Are you sure that's any better?"

"He'd have never spoken an ill word of a child's parent in front of the child. If anything, he hasn't spoken of you at all."

He was silent for a while, staring off into the darkness.

"She's safe?"

Reaching out and touching his arm, he looked at me.

"She's safe, Luce. Cas is working on a way to get us out of here."

"Us?"

"Yes. He's getting us out. So, when you're free, if you so much as mumble a threatening word,"

"I won't, Angel. You have my word. Once I'm free and have my daughter, I'll never bother you or your family again."

"What if my family is reluctant to give her up? It's been a year. They've been raising her for a year. It's going to be hard to let her go."

"She's _my_ daughter. Not theirs."

"All I'm saying is if the topic comes up when you aim to take her, don't be surprised."

"Angel, no one is standing in the way of me reuniting with my daughter."

"I understand, Lucifer."

He lay back with his arms folded, hands behind his head staring up into the darkness.

"Would you try to sleep with me and dream walk to see her?"

"Why don't you try first. If you find that you're able to pull her to you and need me, call out to me."

He smiled and closed his eyes.

Looking over his features as he slept, he looked so peaceful. If this would be my first time meeting him, I'd never guess he was Lucifer.

I sat waiting for what felt like a long period. Growing bored, I turned my body sideways and lay my head on his stomach so our bodies created a T. Staring out into nothing, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to drift off to sleep.

Azriel was playing in a sandbox with a little girl. The little girl looked to be the same age as Azriel. Her eyes were a beautiful green, her hair was golden and curly. Azriel looked up and caught my eye.

"Momma!" he squealed, climbing out over the sandbox and waddling over to me as fast as his tiny legs would let him.

I knelt down, arms wide open waiting for him to jump into them. Once his little body was in my arms, I quickly closed them around him and stood up, hugging him tightly. He tugged at the neck of my shirt, removing his hands, I kissed his little face over and over.

"I've missed you so much, baby." I could feel the tears running down my face but I didn't care. I finally dream about my son; I wasn't letting him go until I had to.

Squeezing him some more, the little girl was at my leg, tugging on my pants. I looked down as her green eyes beamed up at me. Kneeling down to her level, I smiled.

"You must be Abigail."

"Gail." Azriel reached out for the little girl.

"Hi." Abigail smiled. She looked around and then back at me. "Daddy?" she looked up at me with questioning eyes.

"Oh, Honey, I don't know. I do know that he's looking for you. He misses you so, so much."

I felt the tugging in the back of my head. Confused, since I thought I was pulled into Azriel's dream, I ignored it but the tugging became intense.

_It's me, I can feel you're with her. Please, open a wave, please._

Thinking of Lucifer, concentrating on pulling him to me, I opened a connection wave for him to follow.

"Abigail, I believe daddy is on his way to see you." I expressed to her with excitement.

Her eyes lit up as she peered around me. Squealing with the same excitement Azriel had given me moments ago, I knew Lucifer was behind me. Standing, I turned to greet him. He was down on one knee, arms wide open waiting for his daughter as I waited for my son. Watching him, he was filled with happiness, pure love. At this moment, there wasn't an evil bone in that man's body.

Standing with Abigail in his arms, he walked over to me, eyes dancing with excitement.

"Thank you, Angel."

Nodding, I smiled as he walked by me and over to the swings. Azriel reached towards the swings.

"You want to swing with her?"

He bounced in my arms, reaching further out towards the swings. Walking over to the baby swing next to Lucifer, I sat Azriel in it and strapped him in. Gently, I pushed the back of the swing to move him, Lucifer was doing the same with his little girl.

After a little bit of pushing the kids in quiet, he spoke.

"Whose dream is this?" Lucifer asked breaking the comfortable silence we were in.

"It's got to be Em's. I didn't will myself to sleep. You didn't seem to be waking anytime soon, so I laid down and actually fell asleep. I was immediately pulled here. No tugging sensation, wave following, nothing. I was just here."

"When I woke up you were sleeping, that's why I called out. I could feel her. I just wasn't sure if you were in her dream or not."

"They must dream walk together. I wonder how long they've been doing this?" I wondered as I watched the two children giggle with glee every time we pushed them.

"They seem close." Lucifer smiled. "I'm thankful she has him... And your family. Be sure to thank your husband for me, please?"

"Or you can just thank me now."

I jumped at the new voice but quickly grew excited knowing who it was. Castiel was standing behind us. He walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pulled me in for a kiss.

"Cas!" I threw my arms around his neck hugging him tightly. "How did you know I was in here?"

"Azriel." He answered as he took my spot behind our son, pushing him.

He cleared his throat and uncomfortably looked at Lucifer standing next to him. They nodded to one another but no words were spoken for a time.

Finally, Lucifer broke the silence.

"Castiel, there are no words. There's nothing I can do to show you how grateful I am to you."

"There is one thing."

"Yeah?" Lucifer looked at Castiel as he continued to push Abigail.

I was now standing in front of the two children making silly noises when they would be pushed towards me. Their giggles were the best sounds I had ever heard. When I'd glance up Lucifer would be looking at me weirdly, shaking his head and laughing.

"Don't rip her from Azriel's life. We all love her. I love her. It will hurt when she is taken away but we can get over it." he looked down at our son who was reaching towards Abigail as Abigail reached towards him, both giggling. "I'm not sure these two could handle it."

Lucifer was quiet. He began watching the two children, paying attention to their giggles and actions. I watched the smile slowly fade away to a subtle frown. Watching him intently, I hoped he wasn't planning to disappear when we were freed.

Turning my attention to Castiel, I could tell he was in deep thought. He kept looking back and forth between the two children. When he caught me watching him, he quickly planted a smile on his face but he knew I already saw what he was trying to hide. He had grown attached to Abigail.

"Hey, Angel, mind stepping in for us for a moment? I'd like to take a walk with Lucifer." Castiel motioned for me to come to where they were.

Lucifer's brow furrowed as he looked down at Abigail.

"I don't want to leave her. Not until I have to."

"Soon you won't have to."

Castiel's response caused both of us to look at him in confusion.

"Lucifer." Castiel's voice grew more stern.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed towards Castiel but he obliged and stepped away from the swings, following him down the walking path.

I stepped behind the children and began pushing them but watched the two men walking wishing I could hear what was being said. The two kids began squirming so I slowed the swings. Unbuckling them both, I pulled Azriel out and set him at my feet and then pulled Abigail out and set her next to Azriel. They both stood, wobbly, and headed back towards the sandbox. I followed behind.

Once they were in the box, they began tossing the sand around. I sat on the edge of the box near both of them pushing a toy truck through the sand. Azriel reached for the truck so I handed it to him and watched as he mimicked what I was doing. Abigail climbed up in my lap and rested against my chest. When Azriel noticed this, he moved towards me, pulling himself up by my arm and crawled into my lap. I moved to the ground so I could balance each child on a leg. Azriel reached for the neck of my shirt again. Stopped his hand, I shook my head no.

"Gail." He said to me.

I looked at him confused. He tugged at my shirt again. Before I could bat his hand away, his tiny fingers grabbed onto my necklace and he pulled. The chain revealed itself as he pulled it out of my shirt. The tiny vial dangled at the end. He tugged on the vial and reached for Abigail as if he was trying to give her the vial. I looked up to see Castiel and Lucifer standing a good distance away watching the interactions. They were both standing with their hands in their pockets, wearing loving smiles.

"Guys?" I called out to them. Jerking my head, motioning for them to come over to me, they began walking.

"Cas, we,"

"I already know, Angel. As soon as they wake, I will. I already promised Lucifer."

I glanced at Lucifer; he was beaming at his little girl. He walked around the sandbox kneeling down next to me as he slid his hands under his daughter's arms. Before picking her up, his eyes connected with mine and smiled. He looked so happy. How is this Lucifer?

Once he had Abigail, Castiel grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet.

"I should wake them. Sam and Dean will be home soon. Dean's going to want to see Azriel."

"Where are they?"

"They've started hunting again."

My heart ached at the news of my brother's out there fighting monsters and demons again.

"They just want to find every creature that was behind trying to kidnap Abigail and end them. That's all."

"Do you go with them?"

"Sometimes. On nights that Jodi stops by and wants time with the kids, I go."

"Cas, please be careful. Please."

Azriel tugged at my neck, he pulled at my chain again. Taking it from his fingers, I smiled and said,

"Daddy is going to give it to Abigail as soon as you guys wake up."

Azriel giggled and reached for Castiel. Allowing him to fall into Castiel's hands, I released my hold on him only to kiss his cheeks once Castiel had him. Castiel slid his free arm around my waist. I slid my arms around him and Azriel and kissed them both. Pulling away, I told them both I loved them.

Turning back towards Lucifer, I watched as he was walking over to us. He handed Abigail to Castiel, kissing her one last time on her cheek before telling her he loves her.

"I love you, Cas." I said as I pulled Lucifer towards the edge of the park.

"I love you." he responded with a smile.

Before Lucifer and I vanished, I saw Castiel's facial features harden as he looked at Lucifer. 


	8. Bloody Dreams

Waking up, I was still laying on Lucifer's stomach but his hand was now resting across the crook of my neck. Looking over to him, he quickly moved his hand as I sat up.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm the one who used you as a human pillow." I shrugged.

"You saying I'm plump like a pillow?" he acted as if he was offended.

"It was either you or the cold hard floor. I opted for the softer of the two."

"Oh, that's not better." he huffed. Stealing a glance at me as he grinned, I laughed him off.

"Thank you, Angel. I know you didn't have to pull me into the dream."

"I would never keep you from seeing your child if there is the chance to. Unless you put her in danger."

He wanted to remark but thought against it and just nodded.

"So, are you going to tell me what Cas wanted to talk to you about?"

"Um, maybe you should talk to him about that." he said laying back again, one arm under his head, one resting on his stomach.

I readjusted myself to do the same until he sat up quickly.

"What?" I asked looking at him weirdly.

"Nothing, I-uh, just don't think you should lay on me anymore."

My eyes narrowed with irritation.

"One, I wasn't going to. Two, what the hell did he say to you?"

"What? Nothing."

He sounded too defensive; his voice was an octave too high.

I crossed my arms, staring at him until he broke.

"He's afraid that if we get too close, I'll end up falling for you."

My face scrunched up in revulsion.

"He fears _what_?" I exclaimed.

Lucifer's laugh sounded fake, forced as he said,

"Wow. Tell me how you really feel about me."

"Seriously, Luce. Can you honestly see that happening? That's ridiculous." I laughed as I lay down in the original position, I was planning to lay down in.

"Cas knows better. He knows how hurt I was when everything happened and we weren't talking. Does he really think I could feel this way for anyone else?"

He laid down on his side facing me, resting his head on his hand, supported by his elbow.

"Honestly, I think he's just so in love with you that he knows he treated you wrong. He knows how badly he treated you and that if you were to walk away, you'd have every right to. It'd be justifiable."

"He's afraid of losing me? All this time I was afraid I was losing him."

When he didn't respond, I propped myself up on my elbow and faced him as he was me.

"Did he threaten you in any way?"

"Not necessarily. He just wanted to be sure I knew where my place is. He just needed reassurance. He's been without you for a year. Time here is different. He noticed we've gotten closer. You can imagine how his mind has run away with his thoughts as he lay alone in bed at night. Or sit up awake at night, or whenever."

"But still, our bond. Wouldn't our bonds weaken if one of us were to lose interest or develop feelings for someone else?"

"Sort of, sure. But the bond wouldn't break unless one of you died or you both agreed to break it. But yes, what you're asking is if he could feel that your feelings have faltered. Yes, he would know."

"So, then he should be well aware that none of that is happening here."

"That doesn't stop the mind from wondering. Besides, he wasn't worried about you developing feelings. If you were listening to me at all you'd have heard me say that he's worried I will fall for you."

Ignoring his statement once more, I continued on with the original conversation.

"Maybe he's more human than I realized."

Lucifer laughed and laid back on his back, both hands resting on his chest.

"This place is driving me crazy. I hate being stuck here."

"Well, you're kind of dead." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Thanks to you." he rolled his eyes.

Moving to a sitting position, I smacked his shoulder.

"If you weren't trying to kill me or my family, I wouldn't have had to kill you. Do you really want to start this?"

He looked at me, sighed, and looked away.

"Luce?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you come back since you're dead?"

"Well, my soul will find another body. I'm sure the one I was in is no longer, um... usable."

Shuddering at the image of the decaying body, I shook my head.

"You won't kill anyone to obtain another vessel, will you?"

He turned his head towards me, silently studying me with his eyes. He was looking at me for so long that I began to feel uncomfortable.

Snapping my fingers in front of his face, I said,

"Hey, snap out of it. Answer my question."

"I was thinking. Geez." He said as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

"I won't take anyone's life."

"Promise?"

"I'll find a soulless body. But it's going to take time to find a vessel that will be able to contain me without breaking down."

"Isn't there a spell or something that can strengthen a vessel for you?"

"There is but it's tricky. Not many can do it properly."

"What if I could find someone who could? Could I trust that you won't take a living body?"

He reached for my hand, cupping it between his. Looking into my eyes, he said,

"I promise, I will search until I find a soulless body and won't take a vessel any sooner."

Smiling, I slid my hand out of his.

"Thank you, Luce."

"Hey, Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"I like that you call me Luce."

Smiling, I lay down and close my eyes. Images of Azriel and Castiel danced in my mind as I willed myself to sleep.

***

"Angel." A voice calling my name in the distance.

"Angel."

Beginning to faintly hear my name, I followed the sound.

"Angel, can you hear me?"

Stopping in my tracks, I turned towards the voice. It called out my name again, I twisted in the other direction looking for the source.

"Angel." The voice sounded so far away.

I began turning in circles, looking in every direction for any sign of who was calling out my name. When I couldn't find it, I began running again. The sky was a bright blue, white fluffy clouds floated against it. I ran through an overgrown field, my hands held out allowing the tall weeds to brush against them as I ran by. My hair blowing behind me, wisping in the wind.

"Angel." The voice was light, happy, almost angelic. But still so far away. Almost as if it were from a memory.

It pulled me towards it as I bounced through the field.

I could see a small figure far away. The closer I got to it, the more distinguished the details became. The figure was my mother. She was dressed in a white and yellow sundress, barefoot, and her long blonde hair blew in the direction of the wind.

"Angel." She smiled as I reached her.

"Mom?"

"Angel, open your eyes, my little angel. Make sure you see what's really in front of you."

"I don't understand what you mean, mom."

"Open your eyes, my dear child."

I tilted my head in confusion as I tried to figure out what she was talking about.

"You must stay guarded, Angel."

"Guarded against who, Mom? Who are you referring to?"

"Stay aware, dear." her voice was becoming faint.

She reached out towards me as she was being pulled away from me, fading into the distance.

"Mom."

"Close your mind, Angel."

I reached out for her. Running towards her.

"Mom!" I yelled louder.

"Mom!!" I screamed, pushing myself to run faster.

The clouds in the sky began racing past, darkening as they flew by. The sky was growing dark quickly. Before I realized it, I was running barefoot on a gravel road in the middle of the night. I felt fear coursing through my body, pushing me to run faster, looking behind me as if I were being chased.

Just as I was slowing down, I heard growling off in the distance. Barking, snapping jaws, deep evil growls. I felt the wind against my ankles, something was snapping at my ankles. I pushed my legs harder as I ran faster. The growling began to multiply. Looking behind me, nothing was there. What was I running from?

The faster I ran, the harder my feet dug into the gravel. I could feel the sticky residue of blood under my toes. The fear was building in me. I darted to the left, dodged the feeling of something on my right side. Sweat was beading on my brow, dripping down my forehead as I forced myself to keep going.

There was light in front of me. Running towards it, I noticed someone standing there waiting. My lungs were burning, I could barely breathe. As I neared the light, Castiel was standing there waiting.

"Cas!" I screamed out to him.

"Hurry, Angel." He encouraged me as he held a hand out waiting for me.

"Cas, what's chasing me?" I cried.

"Angel," he yelled, eyes wide. "Angel, hurry!" bouncing, he waved me on, willing me to run faster.

I began to slow my pace as I reached him. The fear began to fade away. Finally placing my hand in his, my fear was gone. I looked behind me to see what was chasing me. Nothing was there. I turned back around to Castiel, only it wasn't Castiel standing before me. It was a black-eyed demon. His grip on my hand tightened as I tried to pull away. He grabbed my shoulders tightly, tight enough to know there would be bruises the size of his fingers there. Jerking me forward, he pushed me in front of him forcing me to walk, leaving bloody footprints with every step I took. Walking through the black stone hallway, I could smell death, hear the screams of tortured victims. The demon pushed me again, forcing me to keep moving. Coming to a dead-end, I was forced to round a corner, turning into a room that consisted of a surgery table and restraints.

I stopped, tried to turn around and run but the demon pushed me forward with such force that I fell to the ground. He bent down, grabbed me by my hair, and yanked me up on my feet. My hands immediately grabbed my hair so it wasn't pulling on my scalp as he yanked me around, I was forced onto the table. He held me down as another demon entered the room and fastened the restraints on my body. A metal table was wheeled in, surgical tools placed neatly on top.

The demon selected a scalpel from the table, looked at the blade before directing his attention to me.

"Tell me where Lucifer's daughter is." he demanded.

Furrowing my brows in confusion, I stared at the man with black eyes.

The demon held the blade against my skin, waiting for an answer.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I lied.

Applying pressure to the blade, it bit into my skin, he sliced down my arm creating a deep cut causing me to scream out as the white-hot pain seared through me.

"Try again." he snarled.

"I didn't even know he had a kid."

Whimpering as I watched him bring the blade to my skin once more, he cut into my skin, deeper this time above the first cut. Not stopping, he began slicing across my upper chest.

"Please, stop, I don't know anything about Lucifer having a child. Please. Please, you've got the wrong person." I begged, fighting against the restraints holding me back.

"Angel."

Ignoring my name, I struggled against the strong leather, pushing against it with all my strength.

"Angel."

Pushing harder, squirming, fighting as hard as I could to loosen the belts.

"Angel."

My body was shaking. I was cold, shivering with fear. The demon moved a bright light into my eyes forcing me to close them to shut out the brightness.

"Angel."

When I opened my eyes, he was standing above me silhouetted from the brightness behind him. I began fighting again, this time my arms were free. I flailed them, swinging at the guy's head. He threw his leg over my stomach and held my arms down by my wrists.

"Angel, wake up." Lucifer's voice broke through.

I stopped fighting, looking at the figure above me. Lucifer was straddling me, restraining me as he looked down at me with concern written all over his face.


	9. Soulnapped

Looking around in confusion, I slowly sat up forcing Lucifer to sit back on his heels. His hands went to my shoulders. I winced as he touched the area where bruises should be forming.

"Angel." His eyes grew wide as his index finger pulled against the neck of my shirt.

Immediately smacking his hand away, I glared at him, pushing him off of me.

"What the hell, Luce?"

Concern pouring from his eyes, he scooted closer to me.

"It's not like that, Angel, you're bleeding through your shirt."

Looking down at my blood-soaked shirt above my chest, my focus moved to my arm where blood was dripping down from fresh cuts. Panicked, I pulled my knees up to my chest to look at my feet. They were covered in blood.

"Angel, what the hell just happened?" Lucifer asked as he looked over the blood on my body.

"I don't know. I was dreaming, I think."

"Dreaming? About?"

Staring at my body in disbelief, I went over the dream I had as I attempted to heal myself.

"I was in an overgrown field; it was beautiful out. My mother's voice was calling out to me. I started running towards it... It sounded so far away. She sounded so far away." Glancing at Lucifer as I tried to understand what happened, I continued.

"She kept telling me to guard myself. Keep myself guarded, to close my mind."

Confused as to why my wounds weren't healing, I glanced back up at Lucifer.

"Why can't I heal myself?"

"Your powers don't work here. This is a place for us to come and be at rest."

"Oh." I continued explaining the dream sequence.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed as he listened to me explain how my mother was pulled away and the dream shifted into me running in the middle of the night, a demon posing as Castiel, and then on the table being interrogated about his daughter.

"Someone pulled at your soul."

"What?"

"For those injuries to actually happen to you, someone was cutting into your soul. You have to keep your mind closed. Close it completely." He stood and began pacing.

Looking up at him, I pressed my shirt against my chest in an attempt to slow the bleeding. My arm was still bleeding pretty badly, so I ripped the hem of my shirt off and held it up towards Lucifer. He accepted it, kneeling next to me as I held out my arm. He gently but firmly wrapped it around numerous times and tucked the end into the wrap to secure it.

Looking down at my now torn shirt revealing my stomach, I wrapped my arms around my middle to cover myself. He stood and shuffled out of the flannel he was wearing over his green shirt and handed it to me. Holding his hand out, I took it, allowing him to pull me up and sliding the shirt over my arms, buttoning the bottom three buttons to keep it closed, covering any revealing parts of my lower abdomen.

"Thank you."

He gave me a nod as he smiled at me. He reached for the neck of my shirt again, barely touching it.

"May I?"

Pulling the neck down just enough to reveal the open wound, he winced at the sight.

"Angel, I need you to completely close your mind. Someone is now searching for your soul, reading your thoughts, and your dreams. That's the only way for someone to break into a dream and take it over."

"I thought any injuries that happen in a dream couldn't transfer to the real world?"

He grabbed my elbow and gently pulled me down with him as he sat on the floor. Sitting in front of him, I waited for him to explain.

"Yes, but if your soul is pulled from you, you can be transferred into the Void which is the plane between Heaven and Hell. Being alive prevents anyone from forcing you to either of those planes."

"So, if they can reach me while I'm in the Nothing, Cas should be able to as well, right?"

"Not in the way you want him to. You need him to physically reach you to pull you out since you're not dead."

"What if he reached you that way? Could you be pulled out of here to find a vessel?"

Lucifer remained quiet, staring as he thought about what I asked. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but never said anything. Tilting his head, looking off to the side, I could tell he was in deep thought.

"I don't know anyone that would be willing to do that. It seems as Hell is after my daughter. Are you sure Castiel can keep her safe?"

Placing a comforting hand on his knee, I nodded yes.

"With where we live, she's in the safest place I know of."

Neither of us spoke for some time, just sitting in the quiet, alone in our thoughts.

"Luce, if I close my mind completely, I won't be able to dream walk, will I?"

Sighing before he answered gave me the answer I didn't want.

"And no one will be able to travel in to yours either."

Leaning forward, I grabbed both of his hands and pleaded with him.

"Please, go to him. Tell him what is going on for me. I can't have him thinking I am choosing to ignore him or not trying to pull him to me. Especially Azriel. We were in Azriel's dream the last time."

He narrowed his eyes, his nose slightly scrunched as if the thought alone caused him pain.

"Lucifer, please." I begged.

"You're asking me to willingly walk into a Castiel dream? I feel dirty just thinking about it." He forced an exaggerated shiver to show his disgust.

Angry, I crossed my arms, narrowed my eyes, and pressed my lips in a straight line.

"You. Owe. Me."

In a sigh of defeat, he lowered his head as he said,

"Fine. Close your mind. Lock everyone and everything out." As he lay on his back, he gave me one more look of disgust.

"He'd better have his mind open. I'm not doing this again."

Nodding, I watched as he forced himself to sleep.

I waited and waited. And waited some more before he finally woke up.

"Well?" I eagerly asked as soon as he opened his eyes.

"That was... unpleasant."

"Luce!" I sat up straight and smacked both hands down on my knees in a huff.

"He willed himself to sleep once he felt someone pulling at him. When he realized it was me, he wasn't too thrilled."

"But?"

"But I told him everything and now he is off with Sam and Dean in search of the demons who attacked you."

"Did you tell him I have to keep my mind closed? That I can't see him anymore?"

"Yes." He looked away from me as he answered.

"And..."

"He's not happy about it but he understands. He says he misses you and is doing everything he can to get you home."

Allowing my back to slouch forward again, I looked away from Lucifer, avoiding his gaze as the sadness took over my face.

"Angel?"

"What?" I snapped a little too harshly.

"Another six months have passed by."

"Six months?" I exclaimed.

He nodded slowly, regret falling over his face as he continued.

"They aren't any closer to finding a way to get us out of here either."

Pulling my knees to my chest, I rested my forehead against my knees as tears began falling from my eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Angel."

Ignoring him, tears continued to fall as I sobbed harder. Thoughts of missing Azriel growing up caused me to cry even harder. I was missing everything. He was being forced to grow up without his mother. I should be there with him.


	10. Evicted

_I should be there with him. Not here._

Anger began boiling in the pit of my stomach, rising with every thought I had. Raising my head to look at Lucifer, my eyes were narrowed as I glared at him.

"What?" his eyes were wide with concern.

"I should be with my son. Not here with you." Rising to my feet, I continued to yell at him even though I knew it wasn't rational. My anger was eating at me, causing desperation.

"You're the reason I'm here. If I wasn't at that house trying to save someone else's child, I'd be at home with mine right now!"

He was now on his feet in front of me, standing in defense.

"You could have said no. I didn't force you into this. If I remember correctly, you're the one who fought with your family about proceeding with this." he yelled back.

We were now pointing at one another, flailing our arms in anger. Hold our arms out as our fight got louder and louder with every word. I knew I was in the wrong for attacking him the way I did but the desperation to get back to my family was taking over. By the way he held his temper at bay, I knew he knew that as well.

"This is my punishment for having such a big heart." I crossed my arms and averted my gaze.

Before he could retort, the floor began shaking violently beneath us. Looking at one another in a panic, he reached out for me. I jumped into his arms, tightly wrapping my arms around his torso as he wrapped his arms over mine.

The floor was shaking hard enough to move us around now. If we had anything else around us, it would surely be on the ground now bouncing up and down.

"The two of you have woken me for the last time. GET OUT!" The voice bellowed causing echoes and then a force hit us so hard we were flying through the air, through the darkness. My hold on Lucifer was broken, we were lost to one another during the blast of energy.

I landed hard on my back. Wincing in pain, I rolled onto my side, groaning as the pain surged throughout my body. I felt so weak. My inner core felt as if it were struggling to stay put.

"Hey lady, get out of the way."

My eyes shot open; my head jerked in the direction of the new voice. I was laying in the middle of a street. Quickly rising to my feet, stumbling as I brushed myself off and looked around. I was standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac in front of the house with the red door. Hurrying over to the sidewalk, out of the guy's way, I looked around for Lucifer.

"Luce?" I called out, choking. My lungs felt heavy. It was hard to breathe.

No answer.

"Luce?" I yelled out again as I looked around. Why did I feel so weak?

Nothing.

Looking around to check my surroundings, I opened my mind and concentrated on Lucifer.

_Luce?_

_-Angel. Close it!_ He demanded.

_As soon as I know you're alright. Where are you?_

_-Looking for a soulless vessel because someone made me promise and I intend on keeping any promises I make to her._

Smiling, knowing he was talking about me, I sent one more message.

_Closing now but before I do, I will reach out as soon as I'm back home safely._

_-Be safe, Angel._

Opening my eyes, I looked around once more to make sure I was alone. When I was positive that I was, I looked up to the sky and thought of Ann's ranch.

Appearing at the end of our dirt driveway, I took off running towards the front door yelling for anyone that could hear me. Feeling winded faster than I should, I slowed my run as I closed in on the house. The front door opened to reveal Jody holding Azriel. She yelled something behind her, walked out onto the porch, and set Azriel down on the ground. He took off running towards me, his tiny little legs carry him as fast as they could, arms held out wide, reaching for me.

Once I reached him and he was in my arms, I spun him in circles, holding him tight, never wanting to let him go ever again.

"Ange?" I stopped at the sound of Dean's voice.

Turning towards him, he and Sam were standing on the porch staring at me in disbelief.

"Bug?" Sam was slowly walking down the steps, watching me, making sure it was really me. He picked up an iron crowbar near the Impala as he headed towards me.

Dean reached around to his back pocket and revealed his flask. Knowing that it was filled with holy water, I braced myself for the tests that were coming.

"It's me, guys." I pulled my silver necklace from my shirt so they could see it as I was making my way to them.

"Don't you move an inch with my boy." He demanded.

With a raised eyebrow I poked fun at his remark. "Your boy?"

He jumped the stairs, landing on the ground running. He ran past Sam and splashed me with the water as soon as he reached me. Once I showed no signs of burning, he crashed into me, wrapping his arms around me and Azriel, hugging me so tight that I couldn't breathe. When he pulled away, tears were rolling down his cheeks.

"I thought..." he smoothed my hair with his hands, kissed my forehead, and hugged me again.

Sam was in front of me, pressing the iron against my skin. When I didn't react, he pulled me away from Dean into a hug. Kissing the top of my head, he pulled away, holding me at arm's length and looking me over.

"What happened to you?" his eyes filled with worry as he looked at my bloodstained shirt.

"Didn't Cas tell you?"

"Tell us what?" Dean asked.

"I sent Lucifer to talk to Cas. I was attacked in a dream state, I don't know, it all makes my head hurt."

"Oh. That was months ago." Sam said confused. "This looks fresh."

"Months? It is fresh. Time is different in the Nothing. How long have I been gone?" I asked looking at Azriel. He didn't look much older than when I saw him at the park.

"Almost two years."

"What?" I yelled.

Azriel giggled.

"Yeah, little man's birthday is next week." Dean smiled, ruffling Azriel's hair.

I followed my brothers back to the house where Jody was waiting to pull me into a hug.

"I've missed you."

"I've missed you. Everyone. God how I've missed you guys. Where's Bobby?"

"He doesn't come around much." she answered.

As we walked into the house Gabriel was walking down the hallway. When he noticed me, his eyes widened with shock. Rushing over, he scooped me up in a hug, not letting me go. Azriel started to make noises, letting us know he was over the hugging. He pushed away from me, wanting down. Nothing wanting to put him down, I held him closer, tighter.

"Down." he pointed to the ground.

Reluctantly, I set him down and watched him run off down the hallway and into the first room on the right.

Gabriel pulled me into another hug.

"Where's Cas?" I asked as I hugged him back.

When he pulled out of the hug, the look on his face sent me into a panic.

"Guys?" I turned to my brothers and Jodi.

"Where is Cas?" I asked again.

"Ange." Sam began as he walked towards me.

"You're scaring me. Where's my husband?" I demanded.

"We don't know." 


	11. Breaking Bonds

"What do you mean you don't know?" My heart couldn't take much more.

"He goes off looking for ways to find you and sometimes he's gone for days. This time... We haven't seen him since he told us about Lucifer's visit." Dean answered.

Gabriel walked me to the loveseat and had me sit down. Dean sat next to me while Sam, Jody, and Gabriel sat on the couch across from us.

"When he came to us after he woke up, the three of us immediately put a plan of action together. I called Jody to come to watch the kids. Graciously, she took a few weeks off of work to stay with us. We found the demons and interrogated them. When we were sure we had all of the information Cas sent us packing. He refused to come home with us. Something about finding a way to the Nothing to find you."

"The only way to the Nothing is to die. Or have Chuck send you there." I bit out the last statement in anger.

I took a minute to open my mind which got Gabriel's attention. He watched me closely as I closed my eyes to concentrate on Lucifer.

_I'm home. Are you safe?_

_-I've been waiting on you. Yes, I'm safe but there's a problem._

_You have one, too? Castiel's missing._

_-Yeah, uh, I found him while I was searching for a vessel._

Jumping to my feet, startling everyone, I spoke my next thought instead of thinking it.

"Where is he?"

"What?" Sam's brow furrowed.

Gabriel's eyes narrowed as he continued to watch me.

_-If that's me you're asking, he's at a vacant house just outside of Pike Creek. He's pretty bad off. There's another body here, he's dead. I'm pretty sure whoever did this tried forcing Castiel from his vessel. He's greatly weakened._

"Guys, Cas is outside of Pike Creek. He's weak, badly hurt. Someone tried forcing him from his vessel."

Dean stood, "How do you know this?"

"Lucifer." Gabriel answered as he stood.

"Ok, so, why don't you guys go, I'll stay here with the kids." Jody suggested.

Sam and Dean took off for the front door. I hear the trunk to the Impala slam shut just before they walked back in.

I turned towards the hallway and walked into the room Azriel ran into. He was sitting on the floor playing with blocks with Abigail. When Abigail looked up, her eyes grew wide with excitement. Climbing to her feet, she ran over to me and hugged my leg.

"Angel." She smiled up at me.

"Hello, sunshine." Smiling back, I kneeled to her level.

"Daddy home?" she asked looking around me.

"Not just yet. But we're going to get him here for you. We have to go for a little bit, Cas needs our help."

Azriel stumbled over and hugged me.

"Daddy safe. Unc save." he mumbled.

Not understanding what he said, I just nodded and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, baby. I'll be home soon. And once we have daddy home, we never have to leave again."

The two of them hugged me and hurried back to their toys. When I stood, Jody was standing in the doorway, leaning on the frame.

"They'll be fine. They're always such angels. Literally." she chuckled.

"Thank you, Jody. I owe you my life."

Shrugging me off, she pushed me down the hall as she walked into the bedroom and began talking to the kids.

"Let's go get your husband back." Dean said holding out his elbow.

The four of us locked elbows as Gabriel and I transported us to Pike Creek. Once outside the house with the red door, I called out to Lucifer.

_We're here, where are you?_

A red glowing beam shot up in the sky off in the distance.

"I'm guessing that's where we need to go." Dean pointed towards the beam as we set off in its direction.

"Maybe you should let us go in when we get there. Just to make see how bad everything is first." Sam suggested.

"He's right." Gabriel stated.

"No. I know you're trying to protect me from what I might see, but I'm not waiting another minute to be with Castiel."

None of the men argued, we continued in silence.

Climbing the stairs to the old rundown house, I noticed red smoke floating in the window. Opening the door as I watched the smoke shift towards us, I noticed Castiel laying on the floor beneath it.

"Lucifer, haven't taken a body yet?" Gabriel asked curiously.

_-Tell him to shut his trap._

"Boys. No fighting."

This gained chuckles from Sam and Dean as we all hurried to Castiel.

Kneeling at his side, his clothing was torn, cut, and shredded. Blood covered most of the openings on the fabric.

"Cas?" I spoke softly. My vision blurred for a moment. Squeezing my eyes, I shook the feeling as I opened them again.

He didn't respond. Didn't move a muscle.

"Gabe, can you do anything?" Sam asked.

Dean moved aside so Gabriel could kneel on Castiel's other side. He placed a hand on his chest and a palm on his forehead, grace glowing beneath them both.

"He's really bad. This is beyond my healing capabilities. I'll heal him as much as I can, it will stop the bleeding. But this body is damaged badly. Without him conscious and able to tap into his own grace, he can't heal from within."

I was beginning to feel dizzy. The room was spinning. Feeling unsteady, I sat fully on the floor.

"How did he get this bad? What did this?" Sam was looking around the house as Dean knelt at Castiel's body and peeled his shirt back. It was thick with blood from markings in his skin. Looking at the markings, they looked as if they were some sort of sigils.

"What are these?" I asked looking at the wide-eyed look Gabriel had as he was looking at each of the cuts.

"First someone tried expelling him from his body. Then it looks as if they trapped him in it. Oh God. I can't imagine what they did to him if they trapped him in there." he cringed as he gently placed the clothing back in place.

"So, he won't heal internally without being awake?" Sam asked.

"With this damage? No. This body is so damaged, if it were a human soul, it'd be dead and his grace right now is quickly fading."

Worry ran through my head. I can't lose him. I began running through every option I could think of.

"Is it possible to extract grace from me and put it into him?"

"With something like this? No." Gabriel looked away from him and over at me. Once he noticed my condition his face fell.

"Ange, are you alright?" he jumped up, stepped over Castiel, and placed his hand against my forehead.

Pushing his hand away, I pointed to Castiel.

"Focus on getting him better."

"Come on, Sammy, help me get him up." Dean picked up Castiel's right arm and placed it around his neck.

I felt as if the breath was being pulled out of me. I was now gasping for air.

Lucifer's smoke pushed against Dean, pushing him away from Castiel.

"What the hell, man. Just because my sister trusts you don't mean I won't end you again." Dean shot back.

Lucifer pushed against Gabriel. Nudging him towards me.

"Dean, he's trying to tell us something." Kneeling next to me, he placed his hand on my forehead again.

"Castiel's dying. Their bond is close to breaking. We've got to do something to get him stabilized. If he keeps suffering like this, she'll die, too."

"If I can't move him, how the hell are we supposed to do that?" Dean deadpanned.

"There isn't a way externally. I don't know what to do. Unless he dies a quick death, she will die with him."

"Quick death? We aren't killing Cas!" Dean bellowed.

"It's the only way to break the bond that's holding onto her." Gabriel explained.

Sam was at my side. He was holding me upright, trying to help me breathe.

"He needs help from within to stabilize." I said in between gasps of air.

Looking up at Lucifer's smoke hovering over me and back at Castiel's dying body, I closed my eyes as tears began to fall from the corners.

"He's going to hate me so much."

"What? Why?" Dean asked.

Gabriel nodded, letting me know that he understood. Stepping aside, he pulled Sam and Dean aside with him.

_Luce, help him._

_-Do you know what you're asking me to do?_

_Yes. I'll deal with his anger later, for now, I need him alive. Please. I'm begging you, Luce._

I looked up at him with desperation, tears falling from my eyes.

_-Do you realize that it won't be him communicating with anyone? It will be me._

"Damn it, Lucifer. Do it!" I cried out as I fell back against the floor. My breaths were shallow. My gasps for air were short. My lungs were being squeezed, refusing to let air in. Castiel's bond was breaking, his grace with holding on so tight that it was killing me.

As I gasped in my last breath of air, I heard Dean yelling.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Able to expand my lungs fully again, I sat up taking in a deep breath. Dean knelt beside me, Sam on the other side. They both allow me to lean on them to help me up. Once on my feet, I watched Gabriel helping Castiel up. Stumbling forward, Dean stopped me.

"You're not touching him."

Glaring at him, he shook his head no.

"That's not Cas."

"I know, I told him to do it. You're all off the hook. Once he's good enough to heal himself, Lucifer will leave him. Won't you, Luce?"

"Yes. Without a fight. I promise." he replied. But it wasn't Lucier's voice I was hearing. It was Castiel's.

Stepping closer, I lifted the bloodied shirt to reveal the cuts. They were already beginning to heal and disappear.

"See. It's working externally already." I ran my fingers over one of the cuts, it was deep.

Even though the skin was battered and bloodied, feeling his skin on my fingertips again made me long for him to hold me. Looking up into his blue eyes, Castiel's blue eyes, I slowly slid my arms around his waist. Lucifer didn't move, he froze in place.

"Angel." Dean and Gabriel called my name at the same time.

"Guys, I know. Please. It's been so long since I've felt his skin on mine. Just leave me alone." I cried into the bloodied shirt.

"What do I do?" Lucifer whispered to the guys behind me.

"Not a damn thing. Don't touch her." Dean ordered.

"Dean." Sam warned.

"No, Sam. Cas would rather die than to have her be held by Lucifer using his body."

Sam sighed, giving in and allowing Dean to rip me from Castiel's body.

"Damn it, Dean." I cried, jerking out of his arms.

"I'm sorry, Luce." I apologized as I walked out of the house.

Gabriel followed me to the porch, once the door was closed, he grabbed me by my shoulder and spun me around. Pulling me to his chest, he held me tight as I cried into his shirt.

"I just miss him so much. I need to feel him again, Gabe."

"You will, but not like this. Please. You have to know that it's not right. It's not the same and it would kill Cas."

"There has to be a way to communicate with him." I said pulling away and looking up at him.

He wiped the tears from my face and smiled down at me.

"We will. Let him used Lucifer's strength to heal. Believe me, once he's strong enough, we'll know." he chuckled.

"He's going to hate me for this." I said dropping my head.

"No. He might be upset but he'd never hate you. He was doing everything he could think of to try to get you back here. I think he might understand your desperation."

"Gabe, was he trying to get himself killed to get to me in the Nothing?"

Voices yelling caused us to look back at the house. Gabriel rushed inside with me following behind to find Sam and Lucifer at each other's throats and Dean trying to hold Sam back.

Eyes wide with shock, I took the scene in. Usually, it would be the other way around, this had to be bad for Sam to be this angry.

"What in the hell is going on?" I asked causing everyone to stop and look at me.

"Well, Sammy's about to murder your bestie and husband at the same time."

"Ha. I see that. What the hell did you do to piss Sam off? He's the logical one." I said looking at Lucifer.

"All I said was,"

"It doesn't matter what he said, let's get out of here." Sam brushed by me without looking back. 


	12. He's Not Me

After fighting like hell to get the guys to allow Lucifer at the house, we were all sitting in the living room. He was on the floor playing blocks with both of the kids. Azriel had seemed to take to him quickly, calling him Unc.

"He knows that's not Cas?" Dean asked when he heard Azriel call him Unc.

"You'd be surprised at what these two know. He did conjure up a vial of his grace as a newborn." Gabriel answered.

"I think he knew this was going to happen." I said mainly to myself as I thought back to Azriel saying 'Daddy safe. Unc save.' Did he know Lucifer was going to be the one to save Castiel?

Abigail squealed when Lucifer walked into the house with us. She yelled 'Daddy' and ran to him, jumping in his arms. Even though it was Castiel that I was seeing, I could see just how happy Lucifer was being able to hold his daughter again.

Jody went home to check on Bobby when we arrived, something about him gutting rooms for no reason.

"I'll try to get him over here. I'm sure when he hears you're back safely, he'll want to see you." She said before she hugged me and walked out the front door.

"Ange, could you come here for a moment?" Sam asked as he walked off towards his room.

Rising to my feet, I followed him, waiting to get yelled at. Once we were in his room, he closed the door.

"Really? The only one you're keeping out is Dean. If the other two wanted to hear us, they could."

Ignoring me, he pulled me into his arms and held me tight. We stood like that, quiet, no words were spoken for a few moments. When he pulled away, he quickly wiped his face.

"Sam?"

"I'm sorry about earlier. I'm so happy you're back and I don't want us starting off fighting. It's just... Are you sure about this thing with Lucifer?"

"Sam, listen, I understand that you loathe the man. I used to as well. Believe me, I'm the one who killed the guy. But honestly, I believe he's changed."

He raised an eyebrow, ready to debate.

"Can the devil really change?"

"You have a baby and tell me it won't change your life."

He didn't reply to my comment, only shrugged his shoulders.

"Look, if you're not comfortable with this, we can set up a room in the garage for him."

Laughing, he shook his head and looked at me.

"Do you honestly think Dean would let him near Baby? Besides, I think if he's going to be staying with us, it's best if he's close-by so we can keep an eye on him."

"I don't think that's necessary, but if it makes you feel better, he won't argue."

"You really do trust him, don't you?"

"I do."

***

After I made Sam and Dean dinner, Dean said he was turning in.

"I trust you will be sleeping alone." he looked at me sternly.

Rolling my eyes in response, I turned back to Azriel and handed him his car back.

"Ange."

"Yes, Dean, I'll be in my room, alone. Besides, Gabe's room is before mine, do you honestly think he's letting anyone by?"

"Nope. And I don't plan on sleeping." Gabriel chimed in.

Shaking my head, I stood and carried Azriel to the nursery.

"Momma sleep." Azriel said as I sat down with him in the rocking chair.

"Do you want to sleep, baby?"

"Sleep, Daddy, sleep."

Looking at him, watching his eyes staring back at me, his words had me thinking.

"Is daddy talking to you?"

Azriel nodded.

"Is daddy upset?"

He shook his head no.

"Can I talk to daddy if I sleep?"

"Momma sleep." he repeated.

Standing, I moved to the crib and lay him down. Covering him with the little blanket that's in it, I lean in and kiss him.

"I love you, Em."

He smiled, turned his head towards the wall, and closed his eyes.

Hurrying to the living room, I told Gabriel I was heading to bed. Once he realized why, he nodded and started a conversation with Dean and Lucifer.

"So, Lucifer, you're bunking with me." I heard Gabriel say as I was nearing my bedroom.

Closing and locking the door, I hurried to my bed and climbed in, laying down and willing myself to sleep.

When I opened my eyes, I was at the lake, Castiel was laying on the ground near the water. Rushing to him, when I was close enough to see him, I could tell he was in pain.

"Cas." Kneeling down, I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him.

Slowly sitting up and kissing me back, he cupped the side of my neck with his hand.

"I hate only being able to see you in dreams." My forehead against his, tears were falling from my eyes again. "I need to touch you, feel your arms around me. Really around me."

"I know. I'm so sorry."

"Cas, were you trying..." I couldn't finish the question, the thought of him trying to get himself killed broke me.

He didn't answer, he only looked away.

"Cas, what would that have accomplished? It'd have left Azriel without and mother and a father. You realize that, don't you?"

"Well, I realized what I was doing when it was already too late. All I could think about what getting you back. I need you back with me. With us. I needed us to be together again. To hold you close, console you when you're upset."

Wrapping my arms around his middle, I leaned into him.

"I miss your arms actually being around me. I'm so sorry I did this to us."

Tightening the hold on me, he spoke.

"At first, I wasn't ok with it. I didn't understand. I truly hated Lucifer even more than I thought I could. I was angry. But now, I know I'd do anything that I could for Azriel and that's all he is doing for Abigail. I know your heart is in the right place. It just took a long time for me to see that."

He laid back, positioning me against him. My head on his shoulder and my arm over his chest, I scooted as close as I could get to him.

"Cas?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something I should probably tell you."

"I already know. As soon as he possessed my body, I could feel the energy waken me and was slowly feeling my grace strengthen again."

"How long will this take?"

"Too long."

"I'm sorry but please don't be mad at him. I'm the one who told him to do it."

"My body was close to death. I don't like how it's being healed, but I understand why you made the decision that you did."

"If there were anyone else... I offered for them to take grace from me for you."

"With how weak you were becoming; it might have killed you. I could feel my grace holding onto yours in desperation, not wanting to be separated from you."

"That's not the only thing I did. I needed to feel your arms around me."

He didn't speak. He looked out over the lake without saying a word. I lay quietly with him for as long as he allowed me to. Nuzzling my head closer to his chest, I squeezed him causing him to yelp in pain. Hearing this caused me to quickly jump up and away from him.

"I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry."

He slowly moved to a sitting position, grunting with every movement.

"It's ok."

Not knowing what to do, I sat on my knees and placed my hands in my lap staring down at them.

"Cas, should I make Lucifer leave? I fought with everyone to have him back at the house. I wanted you with me, I wanted him to be able to be with Abigail. But mostly, I was being selfish."

"I know. All I'm asking is that you please don't get caught up thinking he's me. Please. It's not me. It wasn't me you were hugging at the house."

"I know. I just needed to feel you. I need to be held."

"If it's that bad, I'd be ok with Gabriel holding you but Lucifer? Please, not him. Even if it does look and feel as if it is me holding you."

"Ok, Cas. I'll keep my distance from your body when he's around."

"Thank you. Because, believe it or not, I can still feel it all. When he didn't return the hug, it doused my anger a little bit. It made me feel better knowing he was respecting us. If not me, he was respecting you."

"He's changed, Cas."

"I can feel that, too. I see his thoughts and feel what he feels, physically and emotionally. So, I believe you. But, I'm sorry, I'm still not able to trust him like you. Especially not with you."

"It's not like that, Cas. For either of us. But I understand."

He didn't respond, he only leaned over to me and pulled me to him. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him gingerly. Feeling my heart flutter at his touch, it made me want more. So much more.

Pulling away, touching my fingers to my lips, I stood.

"Maybe I should go. Let you rest, or whatever it is you have to do in here."

"I don't get to do much of anything but watch through his eyes. At least I still get to see everyone." he shrugged.

Those words tugged at my heart, I hurt for him...wanted him to heal faster. Pulling him to his feet, I hugged him once more before walking off towards the tree line. 


	13. I'm His Mother

When I woke from another dream walking visit a few nights later, both of the kids were curled up in my bed on either side of me. Feeling my heart swell at the sight, I put my arms around both of them and lay on my back staring at the ceiling.

"Angel?" Abigail was speaking.

"Yes, dear?"

"When will daddy be not Unc anymore?"

"I don't understand what you're asking." I readjusted myself so I could slide my arms out from under the children, sitting up as Abigail sat up, she turned to face me.

"When will daddy be daddy again?"

"Oh. You see, Cas is hurt."

" _Uncle_ Cas." she corrected me.

Chuckling at her correction, I reworded my comment for her.

"Uncle Cas is hurt pretty badly. Your dad is helping to heal him from within since Cas...Uncle Cas is so weak at the moment."

"I want daddy to hug me." she frowned as she lowered her head and looked down at her hands.

"Oh, sweetie, I understand the feeling. I understand it more than you could ever know." I pulled her onto my lap, hugging her.

"Listen, just because it's Uncle Cas' body, that doesn't mean it isn't your daddy. I know this is weird, it's different. But believe me when I tell you that it's your daddy hugging you. I promise. Do you know how much your daddy loves you?" I asked rocking my body side to side as I spoke with her.

"He risked his life for you. He moved Heaven and Earth to get to you. You changed his life, Abigail."

"I know. That's the only reason you guys let Az help me."

"What? No, sweetie. I didn't know you existed. I know that doesn't sound any better. But if your daddy wouldn't have fought so hard to get through to me, I'd have never known that you needed Em's help. Did you get Em's grace?"

"Yes, thank you. Uncle Cas gave it to me when we were done at the park. I was finally able to talk the words I had in my head."

"So, it helped?"

"Yes, it helped me grow."

"You're a very special little girl. And you're loved. You're so very loved. By everyone here."

"And by you?" she looked up at me with her beautiful green eyes.

"Yes, Abbie, I l love you so very much. Can I call you Abbie?"

"Yes, I like that. Daddy does, too."

Furrowing my brow in confusion, my attention was pulled towards my door. Lucifer was standing in the hall, leaned against the wall across from my door watching me with the kids.

"Abbie, who unlocked my door?"

"Az." she pointed at Azriel.

"Ok. It seems Azriel and I are going to have to have a little talk about boundaries." I giggled as I gently set Abigail on the floor so she could run over to Lucifer. As I scooped Azriel up off of the bed, I held him close to me. I knew he was only sleeping to see Castiel. Careful not to disturb him, I carried him out to the living room with me.

The house was dark, it must have been late. I sat on the couch with Azriel laying over my abdomen, head resting on my shoulder. Lucifer and Abigail were in her room, I could hear him reading a book to her. Smiling at the thought, I wrapped my arms around Azriel, lay my head back against the couch, and listened to his story. To the soothing sound of Castiel's voice.

Just as I was feeling myself begin to doze off, I was startled awake by the cushions dipping down under the weight of someone sitting next to me.

"Hey." Gabriel greeted me with a smile. "Sorry to wake you."

"I wasn't fully asleep. I was just listening to the story being read."

"Come here." he waved me over to him but I didn't want to disturb Azriel.

Scooting closer to me, he put his arm behind me on the back of the couch and helped me adjust so I could lean against his side.

"You know the risks you're taking with this entire situation, don't you?"

"Besides the obvious 'devil in my house' risk?" I asked not knowing where he was going with this. Gabriel knew why I was doing what I'm doing, so why question me now?

"Not only that. But getting close to him. I can feel that you trust him. Maybe not fully, but I can feel you leaning in that direction. You two have gotten close."

"Gabe, if I didn't trust him, I would have never even considered bringing him here around Azriel. It's not just me that can feel his intentions. Azriel knew them before all of us."

"No. Azriel knew there was a little girl similar to him that needed help. This little boy is going to have his mother's heart. Let's hope he has his daddy's brain."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked sitting up to face him.

"You think with your heart before you assess a situation logically."

Narrowing my eyes as he spoke, he took notice and raised his hands in defense.

"Look, I only want to protect this family. This house. It's a home now. We're a whole family now. Inviting him in removed some of the warding. With that removed, he's basically a beacon for any demon searching for Abigail."

"So, you want me to tell him he has to leave? Leave his daughter behind? Because I know that's what you're going for. None of you are going to part with her easily. But she is his daughter. Is this the safest place for her?"

"Well, yes. But,"

"Then he stays."

"Angie."

"Gabe, stop."

Feeling my irritation growing, I knew he could feel that I was getting upset, too.

"I just want you to be careful. You're my best friend, Angie, I can't lose you again. None of us can. We were all so broken for so long."

Gently rising to my feet, I turned to face him still sitting on the couch.

"I love you for wanting to protect us. I love you for all that you have done while I was away. But, Gabe, please. Please trust me on this one. I of all people should be the one wanting to kick him out, never ask him to come stay. I'm the one who killed him. But knowing what I know now...Seeing what I have seen? Feeling what I can feel? He has changed and he is still changing. Abbie is his blessing, his saving grace. Don't take that from him. If you won't accept him for him, accept him for me."

Rising to his feet, he placed his hands on my hips as he spoke to me.

"I won't accept him but I will try to see what you see. Maybe...Maybe with time, we will see what you see." He tugged on my hips pulling me into a hug. As he wrapped his arms around me and Azriel, he kissed the top of my head.

"He's going to be sleeping for a while, why don't you let me take him?"

"Does he sleep often now?"

"Only since Cas disappeared."

I didn't respond, I just stare off into the room allowing Gabriel to gently take Azriel from my arms.

"He'll be in my room with me. I only started doing this to make sure someone was with him when he woke up."

"Well, I can be that someone. He did unlock my door and come to me while I was sleeping." I wanted to be the one Azriel ran to when he needed help. I'm his mother, I'm the one who should console him, comfort him when he's upset, help him to feel better, tell him everything will be ok. Why is Gabriel taking that away from me?

"It's not that, Angie. I know what you're thinking, your mind isn't closed."

I responded with a glare.

"I just don't want you throwing yourself back into things too quickly."

"To you guys, I've been gone for nearly two years. But to me," I looked at Azriel's body slouched against Gabriel's chest, sleeping on his shoulder. He's almost two years old. He's walking, talking, building things with blocks, pushing toy trucks and cars around... He was a two-year-old toddler. I missed his infant stage. I missed rocking him as a baby, his new baby smell. Baby baths, applying lotion to his tiny little body, fingers, and toes. I missed his little baby noises, his coos, and giggles. I missed his first bite of real food, his first step, his first word. I missed the stage of waking up in the middle of the night to comfort his cries. I missed everything.

With tears forming, threatening to spill over, I took a deep breath and forced a smile.

"Go ahead, I'm going to go for a walk." I turned and exited the house, down the stairs, and around the house to the pasture behind the garage.

I needed time. Time to think. Time to allow everything that happened to sink in. I needed to be alone so I wasn't breaking down in front of anyone. But what I really needed was Castiel.


	14. Losing Myself

The night sky was clear, a black blanket dusted with stars; the air was cool but not cold enough for a sweater. The pasture was lit by the moonlight allowing me to see perfectly as I made my way across and to the other side, far away from the ranch.

Every thought I was having in the house, every doubt, every heartbreaking moment I had thought of since I was sent to the Nothing... It all hit me at once. Closing my mind to hide the breakdown rising in me, my anger surged through my body forcing my grace to awaken. As my anger rose, so did my grace. Using the power and energy from it, I pushed off of the ground in a fast sprint.

Running.

Running as fast as I could from the thoughts.

Running from the anger.

Running from the pain.

Running from the shame.

The shame I felt for not being there, not being his mother. Not doing my part of raising him when I should have been the first one at his bedside every morning and every night.

I stopped, chest rising and falling in quick huffs. The anger boiled over and exploded within me. Raising my face to the sky, I clenched my fists as I opened my mouth and bellowed out a roar so loud, I was sure it woke anyone sleeping back at the house.

Not caring, I ripped a sapling from the ground baring its roots as I chucked it into the darkness. The huge boulders that lay at the top of the hill became my punching bags. I punched them over and over, breaking and cracking them with each blow. The booming of the boulders falling echoed through the night sky.

Picking up one of the rocks the size of a basketball, I chucked it out into the night sky, over the field of wildflowers, and heard it plummet into the pond on the other side of the hill.

The anger kept coursing through me, causing me to see red; eyes glowing with grace as I punched nearby trees, watching them domino to the ground in loud crashing sounds.

I pushed my legs harder, faster, until I was just a blur causing the leaves and branches to blow as I flew by, kicking up the scattered leaves behind me.

Finding myself in the middle of the woods, in the open area where the moonlight shone in so perfectly. I dropped to my knees allowing defeat to take over. The adrenaline melting away as grief and self-pity swallowed me. I slumped over my knees, elbows, forearms, and fists on the ground. The tears poured from my eyes, the crying turning into a quiet sob, quickly turning into an uncontrollable sob that had me hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe, snot was threatening to run down and out of my nose. Falling to my side, I curled my knees into my chest, wrapped my arms around them, and tucked my chin to my chest as I buried my face in my knees. The emotions washed over me in a tidal wave as they all finally surfaced.

I didn't know how long I was there laying on the blanket of grass and I didn't care, I just laid there until I felt numb, no tears left to cry.

"Angel?"

The sudden break in silence startled me causing me to sit up quickly. Turning towards the one voice that could break my heart, even more, I find Lucifer standing there looking concerned.

"What?" I growled.

He slowly approached me as if I were a venomous snake about to attack.

"Are you ok?"

"Just leave me alone, Lucifer. How'd you even know I was out here?"

"Well, for starters, Castiel was in such a panic that I was forced to see what was wrong with him. He still feels everything, you know? The bond you guys have? He still knows when you're not ok. So, just before you closed your mind, I slipped in. I quickly made the house soundproof, not allowing any sounds to be heard within its bounds. And then there's the tree's crashing to the ground. Could you imagine the state your brothers would be in right now if they heard that?"

He lowered himself to a sitting position next to me, knees bent, arm's resting on top of them, hands clasped together.

"You shouldn't be out here." My eyes bore into the ground, refusing to look up at Castiel's face.

He reached over to comfort me, I pulled away, turning my back to him.

"Please, leave me alone."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No. It's not you. I just can't look at you right now, ok?"

I stood, brushing myself off as I began walking away. Lucifer stopped me by grabbing my arm and gently pulling me to face him. Still looking at the ground, refusing to look at my husband's eyes, he spoke softly.

"I understand why you don't want to see me but he's the one who sent me out here. If you don't believe me, sleep."

"Can he see me?" I asked looking up to face him.

His eyes, Castiel's eyes, were staring at me with concern and worry. He read every inch of my face before his eyes bore into mine. Brushing loose strands of hair out of my eyes, he cupped the back of my neck and pulled me into a hug.

"Luce," I protested.

"He can see you. He's breaking because he can't be here for you."

Breathing in Castiel's scent caused me to wrap my arms around his torso. I nuzzled my head against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart.

"I need him here with me." I began crying again.

He pulled away from me, holding me at arm's length.

"Go sleep. Open yourself back up. He's trying to reach you."

Forcing my way back into his arms, I held him tighter.

"It's not the same. We aren't really with one another. I need him to hold me, Luce. I need Castiel's arms around me. Please." I begged.

I could feel him lower his head as he sighed. Reluctantly, he pulled me off of him.

"I think I should go. I'll take Abigail and go somewhere until Castiel is strong enough to begin healing himself."

Feeling the shame rise and the heat burn against my cheeks, I instantly regretted my actions.

"No. If you leave, Abbie won't be safe. Neither will you. I'll figure something out; I'll just be out here a little longer."

He squeezed my arm and smiled a reassuring smile.

"You going to be ok out here? Should I send your brothers or Gabriel out?"

"If you're sure?"

Looking up into Castiel's eyes the yearning for him grew stronger. The way Lucifer licked his lips felt like it was in slow motion. Feeling my body react, begging to be with Castiel, I stepped away.

"You should go. I'm fine. Go."

His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out why my tone changed so quickly. He jerked his head slightly to the side, his eyes darting as if he was thinking or listening for something. Without a word he nodded, turned, and made his way back towards the ranch.

I opened my mind and lay back down on the bed of grass. Crossing my arms behind my head, I stared up at the star glittered sky and pushed my grace out feeling for Castiel's. Once mine began to stir, so did his. The two began swirling and intertwining as I willed myself to sleep.


	15. Fighting Desires

**This chapter is rated for mature readers. No explicit sexual details but it's quite heated.**

"Angel."

Castiel's voice was eager, anxious. He hurried over to me as quickly as he could, winced every few steps.

"Cas, stop. You're hurting." I ran over so he didn't have to go any further.

Once I was in front of him, he reached out for me, pulling me into his arms, and holding me tight.

"You may have missed all of those things, but that's not all he is or will be. He's still got so much more growing and learning to do." He pulled away, holding my arms as his eyes danced between mine.

"You're his mother and no one, no one can take that from you."

Averting my eyes, I cried,

"But his firsts..."

"And there will be many more." He interrupted. "He still needs his mother. Only you can teach him the compassion that you have. He won't learn it from me. I had to learn it from you. He's still going to need someone to teach him to ride a bike, climb trees, write, draw, paint...Just because you missed the firsts...don't make yourself miss the rest."

"Things are just...Different now."

"Just because things are different, doesn't mean things are bad." his lips pulled up into a half-smile as I allowed my eyes to meet his.

Pulling me close again, he held me tight. Wrapping my arms around his middle, I nuzzled the side of my face into his chest. Looking at him, he leaned in pressing his lips against mine. I pulled him tighter against me as he deepened our kiss. Pulling away, a blanket appeared on the ground beside us. Sitting down, he pulled me back against his chest as we both gazed up at the stars.

"I'll never get sick of coming here with you." I smiled.

"I'm quite fond of the memories we share at this place, too." he leaned down, kissing the crook of my neck.

Stretching my neck to allow him better access, he brushed my hair out of the way giving me goosebumps as his fingers danced across my skin. With his lips back on me, I could feel him smile against my neck as he caused a shiver within me.

"Cas." My arm reached up hooking behind his neck as I readjusted in his arms.

Staring down at me, his eyes fell on my lips. Leaning down, he pressed his against mine, his tongue sliding across my bottom lip asking for access. Granting him his wish, he snaked his tongue against mine causing a slight reaction from me. Smiling, he pulled away from me just long enough to lay next to me, placing his hand against my jawline and neck, he returned his lips to mine.

Having myself propped up on my elbow, I slowly lay back on the blanket as my arms wrapped around his neck. Positioning himself over me, an arm on either side, staring down at me with love and lust-filled eyes, he leaned into my neck, nibbling softly in the spot only he has ever found. Feeling my breathing quicken as his teeth grazed my collar bone, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him with vigor. Biting his lower lip caused him to moan and grind against me.

"Cas,"

He kissed me harder, showing me, he wanted me as much as I wanted him.

"Cas, I need you." I moaned breathlessly.

Growling against my lips, he reluctantly pushed off of me.

"What...?" Looking at him with desperation and confusion, I reached for him but he pulled away.

"Cas." I nearly whined causing him to chuckle.

"Not here. Not like this."

"What's it matter? So, it's not really happening fine, but can't we just get lost in the moment?" I sat up, resting against my elbows.

"I want to."

"So, what's stopping you?"

"The possible audience."

My mouth forming an O in realization, I suddenly felt vulnerable, out in the open. Sitting up fully and fixing my bunched-up shirt, I looked him over. Other than wincing at a few quick movements, he looked good.

"You look pretty good, are you able to take your body back yet? Because I really need your touch." I reached for him, pulling him back into a kiss but allowing him to break it before it became too heated.

"I can tell." he grinned.

"How much longer?" I asked knowing he was avoiding the answer.

"Honestly, I don't know. I tried taking over earlier. It wasn't working."

Studying his expressions, I could tell he was thinking about my break down.

"I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be. When I couldn't do anything or reach you, I had no idea what to do. I was desperate. That's why he came to you. I'd never have sent him to you, not as me."

"I appreciate you checking on me, though. Thank you, Cas." I forced a smile.

"I love you, Angel. If Lucifer is the only way I get to see you, so be it."

"He's being surprisingly respectful. I, uh..." I swallowed the nervous feeling rising in my throat. "I kind of forced myself into hugging him."

Castiel's eyes faltered as he nodded.

"I know. I could feel the want and need within you. I was fearful that you were going to fall into your weakness and allow him to take you." he looked away ashamed. "I became angry with him. That's why he walked away without saying anything."

"Take me? Cas, do you honestly think I'd be weak enough to fall into him like that?"

"Your needs have gotten so much stronger since you've been home. I feel them now. I feel them within us, within our grace. You need me and I'm not there to help you."

Instantly, I was on my knees in front of him staring into his eyes with furrowed brows. Taking both of his hands in mine, I could feel my heart aching for him.

"Yes. I need you. I want to have you near me, your arms around me, and other things." I grinned as I looked off to the side for a moment. "But when it comes down to that moment, Cas, your body or not, I know it's not you and it's you that I want to have giving all of that to me."

"He has been quite respectful, hasn't he?" he smiled as he looked me over.

"Because, knowing the want, need, the desire that is within you, if he were his old self, he'd have taken you already. Possibly while you were in the Nothing."

"He's not the same Lucifer everyone thinks he is. But I'll leave that for you all to decide on your own. Right now, I just want us to enjoy one another. Can we do that? Not talk about anyone or anything else and just be here with each other?"

Smiling, he pulled me into his arms, adjusting himself so we were in a comfortable position to gaze back up at the stars.

"I love you, Cas."

"I love you, too." 


	16. Her Family

**Three Months Later**

Sitting out on the porch swing looking out over the land our ranch sat on, I took the time to observe the past few months.

Time had moved on as if nothing was wrong. My life may have been turned upside down but time wasn't stopping to wait. Azriel's second birthday came and went. We had a little party for him, the family, Bobby and Jody as well. He's talking clearer with every passing day.

Abigail turned four the following month, the two are inseparable. Abigail has begun staying in Azriel's room when he's not with me. She says it's her job to protect him since he saved her. When I tried to explain to her that she isn't obligated to anyone for Azriel's grace she waved me off. That's not something I want her growing up believing, so we're going to gradually work on that.

A few weeks had gone by without being able to reach Castiel. Lucifer swears he's still in there and that he's healing but he doesn't know why he isn't responding when I try to pull him into my dreams. I've begun keeping my distance from Lucifer. The pull between Castiel and I have become stronger as his grace strengthens. Gabriel has been great at running interference and keeping my mind busy.

The boys, Sam and Dean, have gone back to hunting. Dean claims it's because there's a shortage of hunters due to the vampire spree but I know he's just anxious. He was never one to sit around and just enjoy life. He was never able to stay in one place for too long. The road was his home and hunting was his life. I don't think even love could ever change that in him.

Sam decided to go with Dean to keep an eye on him. He shares the same fears I have; Dean will fall off the deep end again. I'm thankful Sam will be there to keep his head on straight and keep him in line. Those two were always better together.

Jody took in a young girl who had been kidnapped by a vampire nest when she was a little girl. She was used as their bait, basically. She would lure people, mostly men from bars, back to their nesting area where her "family" would feed on them. When Sam and Dean found the family, the mother had just begun the process of turning her. Jody, determined to save the girl, almost lost her life in the process. The girl ended up saving her instead. Not having fed on human blood yet, Sam and Dean were able to reverse the process and that was the beginning of a new life for her.

Bobby wasn't fond of the idea at first, of course, we knew he wouldn't be but Jody kept insisting he would accept it eventually. To our surprise, without announcing it, he did. It became obvious when he'd refer to her as part of the family or say things like, 'I should get home to the girls' when he'd visit. It warmed my heart knowing Bobby was finally able to have a family of his own. Jody was so good for him. She kept him in line and made the old cranky man happy again. He earned that.

Gabriel had been back and forth between here and Heaven, keeping an eye on Chuck. He tells us Chuck is claiming to want to help again, that he regrets his decision to toss me to the Nothing. I want no part of hearing anything he has to say. He requested my presence but I have yet to go see him.

"Hey. Hello in there."

Startled out of my thoughts, I turned my head towards the front door to find Lucifer standing there.

"Where were you just now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I tried getting your attention a few times. I need to go out for a while. Can you keep an eye on Abigail? Gabriel isn't back from Heaven yet."

Rising to my feet and walking into the house I allowed my curiosity to get the best of me.

"Where do you need to go?"

His eyes dart off to the side as his hand rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"I-There's something I have to do."

Brows pulled in with worry, worry for my Castiel, I began prying for more answers.

"Where exactly is it you need to go? Will you be safe? You're not doing anything stupid are you?"

Giving a nervous laugh, he walks to Abigail's room and calls for her to go to him. Kneeling in front of her he speaks with such love and emotion.

"I've got some things I need to take care of, sweetie, but I'll be home soon. Angel is going to be here with you guys."

Her sparkling green eyes beam up at me as she bounces into Lucifer's arms for a hug.

"Ok, daddy, and I'll watch Azzy."

Smiling, he kisses the top of her head and walks back towards the living room where I am still waiting for answers.

"Luce, please, give me something."

"I'll make sure nothing happens to Cas, ok? I'll be back as soon as I can." Snapping his fingers, he vanishes from where he stood.

Sighing, I try pulling at Castiel once more without success.

"Angel, can you come color with us?" Abigail stood in her doorway holding papers, colored pencils, and crayons.

"Absolutely!" I beam at her, making sure to hide my worry.

Sitting on the floor with the kids, we are all drawing and coloring. I am mainly helping Azriel hold the crayons and mark on the paper and not the carpet.

Abigail on the other hand, hands me a picture that is beautifully drawn, for a four-year-old. There is a group of people standing in what seems to be a field. A ball is flying through the air, two little kids, a boy and girl, are playing on the ground. Everyone is smiling.

"Tell me about your picture, Abbie."

Climbing to her feet, she comes over and begins pointing at the page.

"This is me and Azzy playing on the ground. This is Uncle Sam and Uncle Dean throwing a ball. Here are you and Uncle Cas finally together, happy. And here is Gabriel and Daddy watching all of us."

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and hugged her tightly.

"This is beautiful, Abbie, I'm going to hang it on the refrigerator."

"It's my family picture." she smiles and skips back to her spot on the floor and begins coloring again.

Looking over the picture once more, her words dance around in my mind. Her family. We are her family. She is our family. Nothing is going to change that. Not now, not ever.


	17. Furious Gabe

**This chapter is rated for mature readers. No explicit sexual details but it's quite heated.**

The day came and went, it's dark out now. The kids both wanted to sleep. I assumed they sleep so they can play in their dream worlds. Our abilities to dream walk blows my mind sometimes. Sometimes I sit and reflect on what I can do and why I don't use my grace or powers more than I do. It's not that I'm afraid of them or don't appreciate them. I just want to have a normal life, do things normally. It gives me a sense of stability.

Back on the porch swing with a cup of coffee in my hand, I sip at it as I skim over the tree line. Seeing a small cloud of dust poof up in the driveaway a good distance away, I stood, setting my coffee on the railing, bracing myself for whatever was walking up my driveway.

"Luce?" I called out.

"It's me, don't attack." I could hear him chuckle.

Castiel's chuckle. How I missed hearing that. Our pull is so strong now, I should probably call Gabriel down here. He tells me that when a bonded angel couple is away from one another for a long period, their grace will begin trying to pull them back together. Causing extreme desire, enhancing their feelings for one another so they go back to one another. Because, bonded angels are stronger together than apart.

Watching the dust die down and only kick up at the footsteps, I turned my back and reached for my coffee.

_I'm glad you're back safe. The kids are sleeping. I'm going to go for a while if you don't mind sitting with them?_

_-Uh, sure. I mean, I don't mind at all but give me a minute. I need to speak with you._

Curiosity getting the best of me, I turn around facing Lucifer, now close enough to see clearly. He looks unscathed, not that I was worried about him fighting or anything. We just won't tell him that.

"What's up, Luce? Whatever you were doing go ok?"

He smiles. There's something different in his eyes. It makes my heart race, my breath catch, and my stomach feels like there are butterflies in it. Shaking the thoughts, I clear my throat and shift on my feet.

"Everything ok?" he asks as he reaches me.

He's standing on the bottom step looking up at me. Castiel's eyes are shining so blue, so bright, even under the night sky. Holding my breath, I try pushing the pulling down. Fighting against it.

"Luce, I-I've got to go." I stutter feeling the heat growing within me.

He reaches out touching my arm, it instantly begins to tingly underneath his touch sending electricity throughout my entire body. Gasping, I yank away, turning to walk away.

"Angel."

I stop dead in my tracks. Lucifer doesn't say my name like that. Not with that type of love behind the voice. Slowly turning around, eyes wide and hopeful, I swallow the lump rising in my throat.

"Cas?" I ask feeling my chest tighten, my heart race, and every bit of my grace reaching out for him, pulling me towards him.

"Hey." He says softly, smiling.

"Cas!" I'm in his arms with one leap, knocking him off balance forcing him to stumble backward.

His lips are on mine before we are steady on our feet. My fingers in his hair, tears falling down my cheeks as we stumble around trying to find balance.

Chuckling, he pulls away from me. I breathe in trying to catch my breath, staring at the man in front of me.

"Cas!" I exclaim again. "What? How?" I look around, looking for another person walking around. "Where's Lucifer?"

He moves forwards, causing me to turn and walk with him. We move to the porch swing and sit down, his arms around me as I lean against his chest.

"Is he at least ok?" I ask knowing he may not want to talk to think about what happened.

"He's ok. We found him a vessel. He's taking care of a few things that he couldn't when he was healing me. For obvious reasons. He's weak so it's going to take him longer to get things done for a while."

"Ok..."

"We should get the warding back up around here." he says looking around.

"Actually, I don't think we can use all of it anymore."

His brows pull in with confusion.

"Why's that?"

"Because, I'm asking Lucifer and Abigail to stay."

"Oh."

"Cas, I can't watch her leave and know she's not coming home, to our home. This is her home now. We are her family. Azriel is her family."

He pulls me closer to him, holding me tight against his chest. I turn and wrap my arms around his middle, breathing in his scent.

"I know, Angel and I'm ok with it. Lucifer and I have talked. I see now that he never meant you any harm. Well, since he's been killed." He shifts causing me to sit up and face him. "I'm ok with it. Lucky for me, I could feel everything he felt, hear everything he thought. I know his intentions are genuine."

Smiling, I drop the subject for him, knowing that it's not a topic he wants to talk about at the moment.

"So, how are you feeling? Are you completely healed?" I ask looking him over.

"Not at full strength, but I'm pretty much there."

He lifts his face to look at me, his eyes meet mine and I can feel his happiness and love within our grace. Its swelling, rising within me, pulling at me to be closer. Instinctively licking my lips, I stare down at his yearning for them to be on mine. As if he was reading my mind, he slides his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. Lifting myself onto the swing with my knee, I snake my other knee over his lap, straddling him, my hands on his shoulders as his hands rest on my hips.

"I've missed you so damn much." I lean in allowing our lips to graze. Slowly pressing my lips against his.

He returns the kiss, slowly increasing the intensity. Our need for one another burns within us. My hands slide around the back of his neck, fingers in his hair. He slowly moves down my jaw to the crook of my neck peppering kisses along my collar bone. Arching my neck to the side, he takes this opportunity to bite and nibble the spot only he knows. A low moan escapes my mouth, his fingers digging into my hips as my fingers run through his hair.

Back on my lips, both breathlessly desperate to be closer to each other, he slides a hand under the back of my shirt causing goosebumps all over my skin. Chills run up my back as his fingers glide up and down my back. Grinding against him creates a growl from low within his throat, his teeth latched onto the bottom of my lip causing jolting feelings to attack my core. My eyes pop open, I clench a fist full of hair as our make-out continues.

"Cas,"

He ignores me, moving back to my neck.

"Cas, please." I beg.

He smiles against my skin, a mischievous smile, I'm sure of it.

"I need you, Cas." I moan into his mouth as his lips meet mine again.

So caught up in our moment, our own little world, neither of us heard someone approaching.

Suddenly I was ripped off of Castiel's lap, thrown back into a hard chest. Struggling to break free, I crane my neck to see who has manhandled me.

"Gabe?!" I sneer, jerking out of his arms.

Gabriel's eyes are cold, locked on Castiel.

"What exactly is going on here?" he demands.

"Gabe, stop." I move in front of him with my hand on his chest. He's too angry, he pushes through me and is in front of Castiel within a blink.

Castiel in his hands, his shirt bunched in between his fist as he stares him in the eye, I hurry over and push between the two.

"Gabriel, stop for a minute and really look at him. It's Cas!" I plead, seeing the anger deep in his eyes.

"Gabriel." Castiel calmly greets Gabriel, placing a hand on his wrist.

Gabriel narrows his eyes as he observes Castiel, studying his eyes as if he's reading his soul. Slowly he releases his grip on Castiel's shirt and steps away.

"I'm sorry, Castiel, I,"

"No apologies needed. I know what you were doing and I appreciate it." Castiel smiles, thankful for his brother.

"So, you're back?" Gabriel rubs the back of his neck in embarrassment.

"For about thirty minutes or so."

"...And I interrupted your reunion." His eyes were wide with realization and shame.

If I weren't so angry about being ripped away from my husband, I'd probably laugh at the situation. But I wasn't laughing, I was seething.

"Do you honestly think I'd be so weak as to give in to my desires around Lucifer?"

Gabriel looks at me with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry, Ange. I just know it's been hard on you recently. The pulling between your grace. I know it was growing stronger. I just, well... I'm sorry." he apologized again.

I crossed my arms and leaned my weight onto one leg, glaring daggers at my best friend.

"On the bright side, it was me who stumbled upon you two and not Dean." he shrugged trying to ease the tension.

Castiel laughed at Gabriel's comment, eyebrows raised in amusement as he nodded in agreement.

"Thinking I was still Lucifer; Dean would have killed me."

"Oh, come on, no he wouldn't have." I say but I knew they were right.

"You didn't see him when you were gone, Angie. You were his only priority. All of us. We spent every minute we weren't with the kids trying to find you." Gabriel stated. "But, enough of me rambling, I'll let you two get back to, well, I'll just go inside."

Giggling as I watched Gabriel walk inside the house and close the door, I looked back at Castiel.

"I don't think I've ever seen Gabe so uncomfortable."

"Yeah well, he did interrupt a heated reunion." He reached for my hips pulling me into him again.

"Let's go to bed."

Before anyone else interrupts us, I transported us both to our room with our door locked. 


	18. We've Got Work To Do

A few days later Sam and Dean were home. As soon as I called and told them Cas was back, they dropped everything and came home.

"So, Lucifer is...?"

Sam and I were sitting at the kitchen table, I with a cup of coffee, him with a protein shake.

"I'm not sure. I reached out to him but the only response I got was 'I'm safe, tell Abigail I miss her.'"

His eyes looking around the kitchen at nothing in particular, he was thinking.

"Ange, are you sure he's not back to his old ways?"

"Am I sure? No. Do I trust that he isn't? Yes. I'll trust him until he gives me a reason not to."

Rising to his feet, he rinsed his glass, running the soapy sponge throughout it, rinsed again, and set it in the strainer to dry.

"I hope you're right, Bug. Just... maybe prepare yourself for the possibility." He sighed and quickly donned a smile as Azriel ran around the corner and into his arms.

"I'm going to go hang with Dean and Cas." Looking at Azriel he adds, "Want to come to see Daddy and Uncle Dean with me?"

This question gets an excited clap and bounces from Azriel, causing both Sam and I to giggle.

"I'm going to take Abbie out back for a little bit, have Cas call out if I'm needed."

Walking into Abigail's room, I find her on the floor coloring again. Catching a glimpse of a page colored mainly black, I pointed to it and asked,

"What's this?"

Looking at the page, she slid it out from under her pile and handed it to me.

"That's a black smoke chasing after Daddy."

The response was alarming. Kneeling to her level I took the page and studied it. There was a smaller drawing of a stick figure running from the black smoke.

"What made you draw this, sweetie?"

"I saw it last night when I was sleeping."

"Abbie, was Daddy in your dream?"

"No."

"So, this was just a regular dream with no visitors?"

"Yeah." Noticing the concerned look on my face, she stood so she was eye-level with me. "Is daddy in trouble?"

"I hope not, let's go find Uncle Cas." she took my hand as I headed towards the garage.

Sam and Dean were hunched over the Impala's engine while Castiel was holding Azriel so he could see what they were doing.

"And this is where the oil goes." Dean was explaining the engine to Azriel.

"Cas, can we talk?"

They all turned to look at me growing concerned when they saw the worry on my face.

"What's wrong, Angel" He asked as I approached.

Kneeling to Abigail as Castiel was setting Azriel down I pointed to the stall that Dean turned into a play area for them while I was gone. He filled it with toy cars, a race track, horses, and dolls for them to play with. There was a swinging door they pushed open to enter it but could be seen with ease by anyone standing near the Impala.

"Abbie drew Lucifer running from a cloud of black smoke. She said it was in her dream last night but he wasn't actually there." I explained.

"So?" Dean shrugged as he was wiping a wrench clean.

"Why would she dream about something like that?" Sam asked.

Castiel was quiet, he seemed distracted. Saying his name to get his attention broke him from his thoughts. He looked at her with worry in his eyes. She could tell he knew something.

"What is it, Cas? Are you two still connected?"

He nodded slowly.

"And?"

"He's in trouble." Cas stated with worry and concern in his eyes. He knew I was going to go after him and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop me.

"Ange, you can't possibly,"

I cut Dean off before he said anything that would anger me.

"Yes, I am. One of these days you'll see what I see or maybe you won't but either way, he's in trouble and I'm going after him. What do you guys say? One last family job together?"

Sam and Dean looked at one another, I knew those looks. They were reading each other's reactions to decide what to do.

Castiel was beside me holding my hand.

"Angel, we just found our way back to one another."

Looking between him and my brothers, he sighed, nodding to tell me he was with me.

"Alright, let's get packed." Dean walked around to the trunk of the Impala. He and Sam began grabbing things from different parts of the garage and tossing them in.

Castiel disappeared causing me to turn in search of him. Within seconds he was back with Jody and Alex at his side. Alex held onto his arm, unsteady. Jody, used to it by now greeted me with a smile.

"I hear you have a job to do?" she asks.

"We do."

"Cas filled me in. I'm happy to stick around here with the kiddos. Bobby said he'd be by later if you weren't back by then." Jody reached out to hug me, kissing my cheek. "Alex loves the kids, she'll be here with me."

I said my goodbyes to the children, giving them hugs and kisses. Returning to where the boys were loading the last of the supplies into the trunk, Dean closed it with a loud thud and said,

"We've got work to do."

Smiling at my brother in a silent thanks, he nodded and climbed into the driver's seat.

"Are you and Cas flying ahead or are you riding with us?" Sam asked as he opened the passenger door.

Looking at Cas for his opinion he opened the back driver's door and gestured for me to get in.

"I want us all sticking together." he said as his eyes stare into mine for a moment longer than they should have.

As Castiel was climbing in on the other side Sam turned around and handed out my Nephalem blade.

"This was on the ground when you, uh, when Chuck,"

"Tossed me out like trash?" I finished his sentence for him.

"I wasn't going for those words but yeah." he gave a soft smile as I took my blade from him.

"Thank you, Sam. And Dean, thank you for doing this with me."

He glanced at me through the rearview mirror, his eyes telling me he wasn't happy about my decision but he was there for me no matter what.

Castiel took my hand, intertwining his fingers with him.

"Where are we headed, guys?" Dean asked as we made our way down our long dirt road.

"The underpass." Castiel answered getting a look from the three of us.

"Why is he back there?" I asked with memories flashing through my mind of the first time I met Lucifer.

Castiel shrugged as he frowned. Tightening his hold on my hand, he turned to his window.

Slouching into the seat, I closed everything out and concentrated on Lucifer.

_Luce?_

Silence.

_Luce, please. Are you hearing me?_

Minutes went by as we drove through a small town on our way to the highway.

_-Angel._

Lucifer finally responded but his response was weak. He was weak.

Squeezing Castiel's hand, I looked at him with wide eyes. Nodding, I opened my mind so he could enter.

_Luce, are you ok?_

_-Angel, keep Abigail safe. Tell her I love her._

_Where are you? Are you ok?_

_-Stay away._

_-Stay away. You've finally got your family back together._

It was Castiel's turn to squeeze my hand as he acknowledged the worry written on my face.

_Luce, we're on our way. Stay with me. Stay awake._

_Luce?_

_Luce?_

_Lucifer!_

Castiel pulled me into his arms, holding me close.

"You know, if this were a different situation, I'd say we're back where we started, you and I. Come full circle." he whispered in my ear.

Smiling at the thought and the memories, I was grateful for him trying to ease my worry. He was right, this is like we've come full circle. We fell in love during our hunts, grew closer, and even fought to be together because Dean was just not having it. All during hunting. Now we're back at it again, one more family hunt. But this hunt is different than all of the others. This hunt is strange for everyone, including me. This time instead of saving people and hunting things, this time we were saving what we used to hunt.

Saving Lucifer. 


	19. Saving the Devil

Pulling into the exact spot we parked a few years ago under the bridge to the highway, I opened my door and climbed out of the car. The scenery hadn't changed much except for a few new graffiti on the cement pillars.

"Angel, don't go running ahead of us this time." Dean scolded as he handed me a handgun.

"Are these,"

"Yes, demon trap bullets. We all have them now." he answered my question before I could finish it as he handed a gun similar to mine to Sam. He offered one to Castiel but Castiel declined as he conjured his angel blade.

"Guns are effective but I prefer the methods I'm used to." he explained.

Once Dean felt he had everything they may need, he closed the trunk and we all turned towards the entrance.

"Sammy, got a flashlight? This place was dark last time."

"Yes, Dean." Sam answered with annoyance in his tone.

The four of us walked towards the door, weapons bared, ready for the attack. Dean entered first, he refused to let me go this time. Castiel was second, Sam told me to go next so he could watch my back. Carefully and quietly, we walked through the snaking tunnels, inspecting every opening, every space big enough for a body to hide.

_Luce? I called out as I turned and looked over a dark room._

_Luce, we're here. Tell me where you are._

_-Angel, I told you to stay away!_

He was angry, weak, but angry.

_The faster you tell me where you are, the faster I'll be away from here. Stop being stubborn for one damn minute._

_-You don't understand._

As I was starting another thought we approached a wide opening. The tunnel opened into a large room with black cement blocks creating the walls, four black pillars spread out in a square in the center of the room, a long table set off to the left with food spread fit for a Thanksgiving dinner. On the right side of the room were six rows of pews all with people sitting in them.

Demons.

In the front of the room sat a large chair with a high back, red cushions, and armrests that curl under and down into the legs of the chairs. The bottom of the chair legs was sculpted into goblin heads.

The throne. Lucifer's throne.

On the throne sat a starky looking man, black eyes just like the rest of the people in there. Rising to his feet, he stood tall, 6 feet tall, maybe. Thin but fit, dressed in a black suit with a red tie. He narrowed his eyes at us.

"What is the Winchester's doing here?" he spoke, almost slither-like.

Something about him was so familiar.

"We heard there was a party." Dean shrugged.

The rest of the demons stood from the pews, ready to attack. The man held his hand to stop them.

Slowly walking back and forth in front of his throne, he began speaking again.

"We have not bothered your family for months. I've kept everyone out of your hair. Why do you come into my home, interrupt my dinner, and disrespect me when I ask you a question?"

I knew that voice. Who was he?

Sam raised an eyebrow as he shifted onto one foot.

"I'm sorry, we didn't know a sewer was a home." He looked around in disgust.

Castiel stays quiet but alert. He was focused on everything, grace pushed out waiting for any movement.

I look around taking in the area in search of anything that would lead us to find Lucifer.

With a blink, the man was standing in front of Sam causing all of us to take an attack stance.

"You shouldn't disrespect me in my own home." he warns.

"Exactly who are you?" Castiel asks breaking his silence.

I continue to glance around, observing and studying every inch of the room. I notice an empty cage off in the corner, right of the throne. Looking to the left of the throne I spot a glint of light barely peeking through a crack in the wall. Looking closer, I see the light barely shining on the floor.

A hidden room.

I glanced at Castiel who knew what I was thinking, I gestured towards Sam and Dean. He nodded, moving closer to my brothers.

"I asked you a question." He spoke again breaking the staring contest that seemed to be going on between the man and Sam.

"I'm Cleo, the one in command here."

Dean chuckled. "Cleo? Dude, that's a girl's name."

Cleo flung Dean into the air and against the back wall. He slid down to the floor with a thud. Demons took this as a signal, they all swarmed us, swinging, punching, and kicking from all sides.

Sam, Castiel, and I instantly pressed our backs against one another, fighting off the demons in front of us, not allowing anyone between us. Glancing over at Dean, he was slowly rising to his feet as he pulled one of his guns from his pants. He held the gun out in front of him, aiming at what seemed like right at me. He looked me in the eyes, I nodded and quickly leaned back as the gun went off and a bullet flew right in front of my face connecting with one of the demons attacking Sam. The gun went off five more times, each putting a bullet in five different demons.

Six demons stood in place unable to move. They looked around with their eyes, confused as to what just happened. Taking this chance to pull my Nephalem blade from the back of my pants, I ran after Cleo who had taken off behind the throne.

"Angel!" Castiel called behind me.

"Protect my brothers!" I yelled behind me as I darted into a dark hallway that would have gone unseen if it hadn't been for Cleo running into it.

Following the halls, twists, and turns, a feeling of DeJa'Vu hit me. I ended up at a dead in, forcing myself to turn right into a room. When I walked in, I was hit with the memory of me laying on the surgery table being interrogated about Lucifer's daughter. This was the exact room.

Looking around wide-eyed, my eyes fell on Cleo who was standing near the table.

"You." I seethed.

"You remember this room, do ya?" he smirked.

Glaring at him, I widened my stance, leaning forward ready to attack.

"I have to admit, I was impressed with you. No matter what we threw at you, you just refused to break. This only made me question one thing. How does Lucifer have a Winchester willingly following him?"

"I don't follow anyone. It's called friendship."

Cleo's face skewed up as he took in my words.

"Lucifer doesn't have _friends_. Lucifer has worshipers and enemies."

"Well, he has at least one friend."

"You're not stupid enough to befriend the devil. You're a Winchester. The Winchester's have fought against my kind for decades."

"Oh, we still hate your kind. Where is he?"

"He's why you're here?" Clicking his tongue, he grins. "My, my. Never in all of my days would I have ever imagined a Winchester coming to Lucifer's aid. Tell me, girl, what does he have over you?"

"We're done talking." I lunged forward, barely gracing his arm with my blade.

Letting out a yelp as he covered his arm, he darted out of my reach.

"Lucifer doesn't deserve anyone to befriend him. He doesn't deserve Hell, and he sure as hell doesn't deserve the throne!"

"I don't care what you think he deserves, I'm not here to give him the throne. Where is he?"

Lunging towards me, we connected, fought, twisted, and punched one another as we wrestled for dominance. Punching me with force, he threw me into the nearest wall, charging towards me to gain the upper hand as I slid to the ground.

Rising to my feet, I shook off the sting in my shoulder from the impact as I dodged his incoming fist. We connected again, this time it was me causing him to fly across the room into the metal tray he had his surgical tools on. Falling to the ground causing a clanking sound with each bounce they made, I rushed over them and stood over Cleo's body. Looking up as he grinned, his eyes landing on something behind me. I glanced back in direction he was looking and ducked just as a demon was running towards me with a knife.

No longer under my stance, Cleo fled the room leaving the demon to fight in his place. 


	20. Falling for the Devil

As soon as I thrust my blade into the demon's chest, the body was limp, falling to the floor when I withdrew my blade. Running out of the room and down the long twisting halls, I stumbled on a lift on the floor. Looking down I noticed the floor was uneven. Running my hands over the crack I felt a cool breeze rising from beneath.

Feeling around for a way to open the trap door, I shoved my blade into the small crack to try and pry it open. Nothing made it budge. Deciding it was just an uneven part of the floor, I climbed to my feet, stumbling once more into the wall. A part of the wall gave way under the pressure of my arm, the floor beneath my feet began sliding backward revealing a staircase.

Once the floor was fully retracted, I descended the stairs quickly but quietly. Approaching a door that was opened just a crack, I heard voices within.

"I find it funny that the woman who killed you in the first place is now trying to save you. What spell do you hold over her?"

It was Cleo's voice. Peeking into the crack I could see him circling a man I had never seen before. This man had dark hair, a slim build, and a long torso which told me he was probably tall but since his back was facing the door, I couldn't see much of anything else.

"Why so quiet now?" Cleo taunted over the man.

Was this Lucifer's new body?

_Angel, where are you? There's a swarm of demons coming and more are behind them._

Castiel's voice was panicked.

_Hold them off as long as you can, I believe I've found him. I just need a little time._

"Answer me you piece of plankton!" Cleo demanded, backhanding him across the face.

The man didn't flinch he continued to look straight ahead of where he was sitting.

Cleo reached out grabbing the guy's shirt, yanking him off the ground throwing him against the wall. The man slid down the wall to the floor, glaring up at Cleo as he approached. His hands were cuffed in steel cuffs with sigils etched into them.

"You wait until I am back to 100%. You and all of your followers will wish you never accepted the demon fate."

The loathing behind the man's voice was surely Lucifer's.

_Luce?_

Hi eyes darted towards the door then quickly back to Cleo.

"That's not going to happen, see, that plaything of yours is here looking for you. She's up there fighting off my fellow companions as we speak. Busy with wave after wave of demons piling in. Hopefully being torn to shreds and if you know what's best for you, you'll hand over those powers and stalk off to your humanity. Or, you can refuse and die... again."

"She's not a plaything. She never was." Lucifer growled between clenched jaws and fisted hands.

I couldn't see Cleo's reaction but his shift in his stance told me he was both shocked and amused.

"Developing a soft spot for the Winchester's, are we? Lucifer, the king of hell, befriends the one family sworn to do everything in their power to kill the devil and end all evil; cares about the Winchester's. The Winchester's." he seethed in disgust.

"You're pathetic. You're old. You're last week's news. And you're weak. I'm ashamed to even be in your presence right now." Cleo spat. His hand rose quickly, mimicking a choking position.

Lucifer gasped as he scratched at his throat, struggling to breathe. Cleo squeezed his hand tighter as he threatened Lucifer's life.

"Hand over what I want and I'll let you live the rest of your days locked away in that cage of yours."

_Brace yourself, I'm coming in._

_-No, go get everyone out of here._

_I'm not leaving you, you're too weak._

_-I won't be able to fight or keep you safe, go. Keep Abigail safe more me, make sure she knows her daddy loves her. Please._

He had given up. I could feel the will to fight leave him at that very moment. Not being at full strength this entire time weakened him much more than I realized. More than any of us had realized. The cuffs were only weakening him more.

_Cas._

I felt a shift within me. They were still battling; he was growing tired which meant my brothers were exhausted.

_-Angel, are you ready?_

_No. Cas, listen..._

Sighing sadly, I knew he wouldn't like what I was thinking of doing. I knew he'd try to stop me but I couldn't let Lucifer just die. Not when he's proven that he's a changed man, he's proven he's a loving father, and he's proven that he is worthy of a second chance.

_-Angel, don't. Please. Please, come back and we'll figure another way to get to him together._

_I'm sorry, Cas._

_-Angel, don't! Please! He was filled with panic. His grace was rising in me, pulling at mine._

Ignoring his internal warnings, I knew what I had to do I just didn't know how I was going to do it.

I pushed the door open to make my presence known.

"Hey, Assbutt!" I yelled at Cleo.

Cleo dropped his hand allowing Lucifer to gasp for air. He turned his body and attention towards me.

"Found your way down here, I see. Come to watch the show?" Cleo sneered.

Gesturing towards Lucifer with my head, I said,

"I just came for him. Walk away now and you'll live." My eyes never left his, daring him to make a move.

"Why do you care so much for this man? You Winchester's are so infuriating. One minute you hate him, the next you're wanting to save his life. Would you pick a side? You can't ride the fence your entire life." Cleo rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"I don't pick sides; I pick what's right. I fight for who is deserving."

Raising my gun, I aimed at Cleo's head and pulled the trigger. He dodged the bullet, his eyes flashing black. Charging towards me, he rammed his shoulder into my stomach throwing both of us to the ground causing the gun to be knocked from my hands.

My fist connected with his jaw causing his head to turn to the side, blood and saliva sprayed from his mouth as the impact caused a gash in his lip. Touching a finger to his bloody lip, he rubbed the blood in between his thumb and index finger as his grin turned into a snarl.

Revealing a long knife, he lunged at me again, the blade catching my ribs as I lunged forward to the opposite side of the room. The sting of the blade biting into my skin caused me to jump. Touching the cut, the wound closed instantly with my grace but something still burned. Glancing at the blade closely, it appeared to be dipped in something.

Poison?

Turning my attention to Lucifer behind me, I made sure he was breathing, quickly bending to place my hand on the cuffs. Using my grace, I melted the cuffs off of him and then looked back at Cleo. He was seething, anger raging in his eyes.

I could hear Lucifer shuffling behind me just as Cleo flew towards me again. We collide midair, crashing to the ground exchanging blows. Trying to avoid the knife in his hands, I dodged it each time he thrust it towards me. My right fist connecting with his jaw caught him off guard allowing me to immediately kick with my left leg knocking him back.

On top of him struggling against his strength to fight for the knife, he leaned up and dug his teeth into my wrist. Yelling out in pain, instinctively cradling my wrist to my chest, he took the opportunity to plunge the knife into my side, the blade sinking in between my ribs.

Crying out in pain, I leaned forward as he scurried out from under me. Breathing hurt, it created sharp pains each time I took a breath or tried to expand my lungs.

_Angel, you're hurt. Where are you? How do I get to you?_

Castiel's voice was frantic, he pushed against our grace searching for the foreign object protruding from my body.

Cleo was on the other side of me, his booted foot connected with my other ribs. Kick after kick he knocked the air from my lungs.

Pulling myself up against the wall into barely a sitting position, I watched as Lucifer attacked Cleo from behind. Cleo flung him off of his back with ease causing even more pain to radiate through Lucifer's already weakened body.

I could see the bright glow of my grace around the blade in my side as my breathing became more and more shallow with each breath. Cleo turned his attention back to me; I raised my hand in an attempt to snap my fingers but the pain stopped any movement. He wrapped his fingers around the handle of the knife and yanked it from my ribs. Crying out in pain, I cover my side healing the opening, though I wasn't able to heal the puncture in my lung.

Any kind of movement sent sharp pains up each side. Still unable to breathe in fully, my breathing became shallow causing me to become light-headed due to lack of oxygen. Cleo stood over me, eyes pitch black. An evil smile pulled at his lips as his grip on the handle tightened. He kneeled next to me, plunging the knife into me once more, puncturing my other lung.

Lucifer was at my side, Cleo stood, looking down in amusement.

"Well, isn't this sweet." He mocked.

Now gasping for air completely, I pulled at my grace, forcing it to rise, pulling it into my mouth. Quickly grabbing Lucifer's shirt, fisting it, I pulled him towards me and crashed my lips against his. Stunned, he froze as I began transferring as much of my grace as I could into him. His eyes were wide, staring into mine for the few seconds our lips were connected.

"Well, that was unexpected but entertaining, none the less. It seems little Winchester has fallen for the devil." Cleo taunted. "Would you like one last kiss before I kill her?" His question was directed at Lucifer.

My dizziness increased with the breath I exhaled. Dropping my fist from Lucifer's shirt, the last image I saw was Castiel standing at the door looking in before the stars turned into darkness. 


	21. Waking Up Human

Muffled voices pulled me from my sleep. Trying to open my eyes was a struggle. It felt as if I was pulling against them, prying my eyelids open. When they finally peeled apart, I was hit with burning bright light, forcing me to quickly close them again to block it out.

I tried to move, to readjust but everything in my body hurt. I faintly heard beeping in the background. It hurt to breathe, it felt as if I was hit by a bus.

Groaning in pain caused movement within the room and someone to my hand.

"Ange, hey it's Dean. You waking up?"

I tried to speak but something in my mouth prevented me from doing so. I attempted to raise my hand to feel my mouth but it was stopped by something attached to it. The beeping in the background began to irritate me.

Fighting to open my eyes again, I squinted against the bright light. Groaning in pain and frustration, I closed them again.

"Sammy, turn the lights out, it's too bright." Dean's voice was soft.

Sensing the room dimming, I tried opening my eyes again. Blinking against the sunlight flooding in from the window, the room slowly came into focus.

"Cas, she's awake." Sam called out.

Looking around I realized I was in a hospital room. My brows furrowed in confusion and I tried to speak again. Something was stuck in my throat. Removing my hand from Dean's, I raised it to my mouth to remove what was in my throat.

Sam and Dean were both over my bed pulling each hand away from me.

"No. No. Let the doctors do that." Sam said softly, he brushed his hand against my hair as he looked down at me.

I looked at him confused. I turned my head towards Dean, confused.

Narrowing my eyes, I tried to remember why I was in the hospital.

"Well, it's nice to see those beauties finally staring back at us." A doctor was standing next to Sam.

Sam quickly stepped away from the bed, moving to the other side with Dean. My brothers watched as the doctor looked me over.

"You gave us all quite a scare." The doctor continued. "How are you feeling?"

Not able to answer, I stared at him blankly.

"Feeling ok? Lightheaded or anything?" His questions kept coming.

My frustration rising, I glared, as I motioned to the hose down my throat.

"Yes. Yes, I'll get a nurse in here to remove that for you. But for now, I just need to look you over, check some things, and make sure you're ok well enough to have it removed."

My anger flared. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Castiel.

_Cas, where are you? Why am I here?_

Silence.

_Cas? This doctor keeps talking to me like I can answer him with this thing in my throat. Where are you?_

Nothing. I felt empty.

Feeling even more irritated, I concentrated on Lucifer.

_Luce? Cas doesn't seem to hear my calls, can you?_

Silence.

_Luce?_

What the hell, why wasn't anyone answering me?

Opening my eyes, I looked towards my brothers and moved my hand in a writing motion to indicate I needed a pen and paper.

Nodding, Sam moved to the stand near the bed and picked up a pad of paper. Dean handed me a pen as I took the pad from Sam. Frustrated, I began writing.

**What the hell?**

Dean's eyebrows pulled in with confusion.

"You're in the hospital, Ange." he explained.

**No shit. Why?**

"You don't remember anything?" Sam asked moving closer to the bed.

**No. Where's Cas?**

"Cas is home with Em." Dean answered.

**Why won't he answer me?**

"Answer you?" Dean read my question out loud causing the doctor to look at me in question.

"Uh, he'll be here shortly." Sam stepped in before the doctor could ask anything.

"Ok, she looks strong enough to breathe on her own, I'll have someone in soon to remove this for you."

Staring at the doctor with wide eyes, I blinked before turning to my brothers.

**Breathe on my own?**

I wrote on the pad. Why wouldn't I be breathing on my own?

Sam followed the doctor to the door, closing it as he exited.

"Ange, you seriously don't remember anything?" Dean asked with concern in his eyes.

I stared blankly. I already answered that question, I wasn't answering it again.

"You were stabbed. Both lungs were punctured. The blade had some type of poison on it, it weakened you substantially. Your ribs were broken by having them kicked in over and over. You stopped breathing and no one could heal you from within." Sam explained.

"You lost a lot of blood from a stab wound, too." Dean added.

**Why didn't I heal my wound?**

Sam and Dean looked at one another and then back to me. Sam took a deep breath before he answered.

"Your grace is gone."

"You're human again." Dean added.

Wide-eyed, I looked between my brothers wanting more answers. How did this happen? How did I lose my grace? I didn't know that was even possible.

**I want Cas.**

Sam and Dean read the pad at the same time. Both of them rubbed the back of their necks nervously.

"He'll be here." Sam said.

**What aren't you telling me?**

Dean read the note pad this time and sighed.

"He watched you transfer your grace into Lucifer."

My brows furrowed, I furiously shook my head in confusion, which I immediately regretted because it caused the hose in my throat to shift.

Flipping the page, I wrote down more questions.

**What happened? Why did I do that?**

Dean looked up at Sam worried.

"Maybe you should talk to Cas about that when he gets here."

**Then get him here NOW!**

"I'm right here, Angel." Castiel spoke from behind Sam.

Sam and Dean looked at one another and headed towards the door.

"We'll be back, we're going to grab some coffee." and disappeared around the corner.

Castiel walked over to my bed, I reached for his hand as I looked up into his eyes. Holding my hand tightly, he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I'm happy you're awake. Azriel misses you. He wants to see you but I don't want him seeing you in here."

Writing on the pad again, I showed Castiel my question.

**What happened?**

"Your lungs were punctured, you stopped breathing. I can't heal you from within."

**Why can't you hear me when I call out to you?**

"We're no longer connected by grace. You're human." he said with a hurtful tone as he looked away.

**I don't understand.**

He looked at the pad and sighed. He walked to the other side of the bed, pulled the chair close, and sat down. Taking my hand in his, he began to talk.

"I'm going to assume you remember nothing so I'll start from the beginning. We were going after Lucifer, you insisted on saving him." His teeth ground together as he clenched his jaw. "You ran after the new demon in charge while your brothers and I kept all of the incoming demons at bay. When you found Lucifer, you reached out to me. I could feel you were about to do something extreme. He was weak. Too weak to defend himself, let alone you. You were fighting to free him and ended up stabbed in both sides, puncturing both lungs, poison in your system, beaten to near death. When I found you, you were reaching for Lucifer's shirt, pulling him towards you and what I thought at first was a kiss, ended up to be you transferring your grace into him."

Worried, I wrote again.

**You thought I kissed Lucifer?**

"Well, I mean, if you were to walk in at the very moment that I did, you'd have thought the exact same thing. At first, fury burned within me. I felt an emotional pain that was so bad, I wanted to kill him myself. Just before I lunged at him, he rose to his feet, stronger. Stronger than I've ever seen him. He took that demon by the throat and snapped his neck with ease. When I ran into the room, he turned to me with tears in his eyes. He must have apologized a thousand times or more. Asking me first, he tried transferring the grace back to you but your body rejected it."

Feeling tears dripping down the sides of my face I moved to write again but the door opened and in walked a nurse.

"Well, hello there! I'm here to remove that nasty annoying tube. You ready for that?" she asked as she washed her hands and put gloves on.

She walked over to me, set a towel over my chest, and handed Castiel a small container.

"Once I pull this out, a lot of people tend to gag hard enough to get sick. This is just in case." She looked at me, placed her hand on the tube, and looked into my eyes. "You ready, dear?"

I felt Castiel place a hand on my arm, my skin beneath warming.

I blinked.

"This is going to very uncomfortable." she warned and then gently tugged on the tube.

Feeling my throat constrict against the foreign object invade its space, I gagged.

Castiel applied pressure to my arm, pushing energy into me easing the gagging sensation.

She tugged a little more causing me to gag again. Once the tube was almost free, she pulled on his with a firm grip, and the gagging intensified.

Castiel squeezed my arm again, a surge of energy pushed through my body. He held out the container for me if I needed it. The nurse used the towel and cleaned up around my face and smiled.

"There. Now your throat will hurt for a while but it should be ok within the next day or so. I wouldn't drink anything right away. No eating at all for now. We'll be in to check on you in a little bit."

Nodding, she turned and walked out of the room.

Turning back towards Castiel, I took his hand and tried to speak. It hurt my throat, it was dry and scratchy. Sighing, I picked the pad back up and began writing again.

**My body rejected our grace? What does that mean for us?**

Castiel's eyes softened as he read my questions.

"It just means that your human now. That's all."

**But our bond?**

He pulled my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles before he continued.

"I fell in love with you before you were changed. Before we could be bonded. I will always love you, with or without it."

Tears falling again, the pain rising in my chest, I wrote on the pad.

**But that means I will die and you and Em will be left without me.**

His eyes saddened as he read the pad. Standing and leaning over the bed, he wiped the tears from my eyes and pressed his lips to mine. When he pulled away, he looked into my eyes.

"Then we will live every day that we have to the fullest. If you still want to."

The door opened, he straightened to see who was walking in. Dean and Sam walked in, followed by a tall man with dark hair, sharp jawline, and a fit build.

Narrowing my eyes in confusion as to who he was, I looked up at Castiel for answers.

"We ran into him when we were getting coffee. I insisted on seeing her." Dean rolled his eyes.

"It's ok, Dean. Let's grab her some things from the house." he said as he kissed my forehead and walked towards my brothers.

"We'll be back soon, Angel."

"Sammy and I found a case nearby; we might check that out now that we know you're awake." Dean added.

Looking at him in confusion and some panic, I looked from him to the man standing at the foot of my bed.

Why was he walking away leaving me with a strange man?

"Call for me if anything happens." Castiel said, touching both Sam and Dean and disappearing on the spot.

The man stared down at me smiling, his eyes were familiar. Moving closer, he pulled the chair next to the bed and sat down, taking my hand. The moment he touched me I knew who he was.

Lucifer. 


	22. Lucifer's Kiss

I looked at him closer, studying his face. His new face. It was weird seeing a different man in front of me and refer to him as Lucifer.

"Hey, Angel." he spoke softly.

Even his voice was different. I hated it.

He was looking at the floor for a few minutes, I grew impatient and smacked the top of his head with the note pad. His head popped up in shock. He stared at me for a moment then laughed.

"I can see humanity hasn't taken the feistiness out of you."

I blankly stared at him before rolling my eyes.

"They tell me you don't remember anything about coming after me."

I shook my head no.

"Do you remember anything before coming after me?"

I picked up the pen and began to write.

**I remember checking on Abbie.**

"Oh? What happened there?" he asked.

**She was coloring.**

"She said you guys did that a lot." he smiled.

I nodded yes.

"She showed me the picture she drew. She said it was me running from black smoke."

I stare at him not knowing what he was talking about.

Sighing sadly, he leaned forward in the chair, placing a hand on the rail of the bed.

"Can I try something?" he asked.

Confused, I nodded yes.

He stood, leaned over the bed staring at me for a moment. Swallowing nervously, I winced at the pain in my throat.

Lucifer leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. I didn't react for a moment, frozen in shock. I felt energy surging between us. Feeling guilt course throughout my body, I tensed. He moved his lips against mine slightly, parting mine. His hands cupped either side of my face as an icy feeling filled my mouth. I wanted to pull away from him but I felt a pull within him. Pulling me to him.

He closed his eyes as his thumb caressed my cheek sending electricity jolting throughout my body. I pulled my head away from his, he tightened his hold and muttered, "I'm not done." against my lips. His icy breath danced across my lips sending chills down my spine. He closed the gap between our lips once more, the icy feeling entering my mouth again. I closed my eyes at the relaxing sensation. It felt right and that unsettled me.

As I reached up with my free hand, I grabbed his wrist but before I pulled his hand away from my face the picture flashed in my mind. Abigail was holding a picture of a stick figure running from black smoke. Then I was standing in the garage, Dean loading up the Impala. Under the underpass, in front of the door. Walking through the dark twisted hallway. Fighting. Walking down into a floor. Lucifer on the floor, helpless.

My eyes shot open. As Lucifer slowly pulled away, a glowing strand seemed to linger between us. Feeling my body tingle, a warming sensation filling every inch of me. I looked up at him speechless.

"You remember now, don't you?" he smiled.

"I do." I spoke, pain-free.

My body no longer hurt. It wasn't uncomfortable when I'd take a deep breath and the best thing was, I remembered.

_Can you hear me?_

Lucifer looked at me confused as he sat down in the chair.

"Why speak like that? We're alone. I'd know if someone was listening."

Smiling, I sat up and flung my legs over the side of the bed facing him, careful to keep the blanket wrapped around me.

"I called out to you and Cas when I woke up. Neither of you heard me. That was when I learned I was human." I explained.

"Ah. Well, hopefully, this means you're back to normal."

Excited, I closed my eyes and thought of Castiel.

_I'm back, Cas._

"There could be a difference though." Lucifer added.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you breathed your grace into me. Mine wasn't completely gone, it was just incredibly weak from healing Castiel, healing this guy when I obtained the vessel, and those sigils covered cuffs Cleo had on me."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"You two are now forever connected." Castiel's voice was behind me.

Turning towards him, I bounced in excitement. He walked over to stand next to Lucifer, in front of me. Pulling him close to me for a hug, I wrapped my arms around his middle and squeezed.

"I missed this." He breathed into my ear.

Smiling, feeling my body warm with happiness, I squeezed him some more.

"Any chance you have clothing in that bag?" I asked glancing at the bag he was holding.

"Yes." he smiled holding the back out for me.

Slowly sliding off of the bed, feet on the floor, I wrapped the blanket around me as I walked into the connected bathroom.

Dressing quickly, I tossed the hospital gown over the sink and ran my fingers through my hair. I looked rough. There were dark patches under my eyes that seemed to be slowly fading. My body was finally healing from my grace but my hair was a rat's nest.

Emerging from the bathroom revealed the doctor standing in front of my bed talking to Castiel.

You're not completely healed. Fake it.

Lucifer's voice ran through my ears.

I glanced at Castiel, he didn't seem to hear the warning to me.

"Angel, I see you're feeling good enough to move around."

Nodding, I slowly made my way back to my bed.

Lucifer stood to help me into the bed, leaning on his arm, I acted as if I was still sore.

Once I was situated, Castiel covered my legs as he glowered at Lucifer.

Narrowing my eyes, I looked between the two.

 _Stop it. Both of you._ I scolded.

They both turned their head towards me instantly.

"Looks as if you'll be well taken care of when you leave here. How's the throat feeling?" the doctor asked breaking my glare at the guys.

I gave a slight smile and shrugged.

"Do you think you might be able to get some water down?" he asked.

"Maybe." I spoke softly.

Smiling, he made some notes in my chart and exited the room, closing the door behind him.

"How long will I have to fake this?" I asked looking at the two of them.

"Well, something like this takes a good week to heal once you've been off the ventilator. I'm guessing they will want to keep you for observation for at least a week." Castiel explained.

I sighed and flopped against the back of the bed.

"I want to see Em."

"I'll bring him tomorrow. He and Abigail are with Jody and Bobby today." Smiling with excitement I sat up and crossed my legs.

"So, what happened that night? How long has it been?" I asked.

Castiel's eyes lowered. He obviously didn't want to talk about it.

"It's been two weeks. After you revived me, I ended Cleo. Castiel was able to get you out of there while I went up and helped your brothers. Any demon that showed up that night has perished."

Studying his face as he spoke, I spoke what I was thinking out loud.

"And you're ok with that?"

His face skewed upon confusion, he tilted his head and looked at me, trying to read my thoughts.

"Yes. And I have only one regret about that night."

"What's that?" Castiel asked looking at him intently.

Lucifer continued to look at me, never breaking his eye contact.

"That I couldn't save her." he answered.

"That night wasn't your fault, Luce." I began.

"You guys wouldn't have been out there if it wasn't for me." he argued.

Castiel watched our exchange, he noted that I was visibly upset.

"What she's saying is, it was her choice to come to you."

Lucifer and I both looked at Castiel. I smiled and reached for his hand.

"Alright, here we are." the door opened, and in walked the doctor followed by a nurse.

"She has some water for you, and if you keep that down, we can move to soups." he smiled as he put his stethoscope in his ears and began listening to my lungs.

Breathing in and out slowly, I accepted the small cup from the nurse and sipped it.

Removing his stethoscope and draping it around his neck, he added some notes in my chart.

"Things seem to be healing up quickly. Your lungs sound great. A few more days of this and you'll be out of here before you know it." he smiles as he slides my chart back into place at the end of the bed and exits the room.

The nurse finishes up notes on the computer, takes the cup from me, and leaves, but not before smiling flirtatiously at Castiel.

Raising an eyebrow and watching her in amusement, I look over at Castiel who is completely oblivious as to what's going on.

Lucifer chuckled, glancing at him tells me he sees the same thing. 


	23. Confessions

A few days later the nurse brought me soup for lunch. Not hungry due to grace coursing through me now, I declined it.

"Is your throat still bothering you?" she asked in concern.

"Oh, no. I'm just not hungry."

"I see. The meds can sometimes make you lose your appetite but you'll need to show you can eat before you're allowed to leave." she explained.

"Even if I'm not hungry?" My brows furrowed in irritation.

"Yeah, that's how it works."

"Fine, leave it. I'll eat it eventually."

Nodding, she set the bowl on the sliding tray next to my bed.

Once she left, I lay back against the bed and closed my eyes. It's been quite boring in here without visitors. Castiel told me he would be in later today, which made me happy. Sam and Dean were off hunting again now that they knew I was reunited with grace and fully healed.

Lucifer hadn't come by since the first day he was there. He did check in on me remotely, though. A lot.

_-How's the most stubborn Nephalem I know? His voice ran through my ears creating a smile._

_She's extremely bored. How are the kids?_

_-Rambunctious. Abigail misses you. She keeps asking when Auntie Angel will be home._

_Feeling my heart swell with warmth at those words, I smiled._

_Tell her I miss her, too. Hey, is Cas alright? He seems...distracted._

_-Seems fine to me. But then again, he really doesn't sit and chat with me willingly. Gabriel and I have talked a lot lately._

Intrigued by this news, I pried for more.

_Really?_

_-Yeah, he says I deserve a second chance and he's willing to give me that._

_You do deserve it, Luce._ I smiled.

"Thanks to you." he appeared in the chair next to me causing me to jump.

"What the hell, Luce?! Don't do that!" My hand was on my chest over my heart, feeling it racing.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

Sitting up, I turned to face him sitting cross-legged.

"What brings you here?" I asked out of curiosity.

"I'm not allowed to come to see you now?" he scoffed, raising his hand to his chest and acting hurt.

"Shut up. You know what I mean. You've only been talking with me remotely lately."

"No one can hear our conversations when we talk like that." he shrugged.

"They can't? Wouldn't that connection break when I became human?"

"Yes. But when I gave you the grace, yours is not only mixed with Castiel's and Azriel's, it is now mixed with some of mine. So, now we have a personal connection." he explained.

"Wasn't your grace mixed within me before? I mean, you are part of the reason I became what I became."

"Yes, but this was different. This isn't combining with someone's at the same time to create something. This is just full-on grace straight from me."

Smiling, I nodded, understanding.

"So, any plans now that you're back to 100% and you're with Abbie?"

"Well, I thought about taking her and showing her the world. But I think she might be too young for that still. And she seems quite attached to you guys."

"Luce, if leaving it what you want to do, I won't ask you to stay. You're not forced to stay with us."

Smiling he looks down at his fingers, picking at them.

"I know. I just don't want to rip her out of a stable environment. I may be dense but I have learned a lot from you in the time we've become friends. You taught me understanding, compassion, empathy, patience, and love. No one else would have even thought about helping me when you did. You were my last resort. I honestly had nowhere else to turn if you would have rejected me."

"Well, you really didn't give me the option to reject you." I snarked.

"At first, yes. And I'm sorry for that. I never should have pushed, pressured, or threatened you like that. That's something the old me would have done. I was scared of losing my little girl. She's the reason I even wanted to change, to become better. She's what gave me a reason to be good."

I smiled, knowing what it feels like to have that very moment when your entire life changes. You no longer live for yourself, you are now living and breathing for your child and your only goal is to be a hero in their eyes.

"Angel, thank you." he said moving the chair closer and taking my hand.

Confused, an eyebrow arched as I waited for his explanation.

"Yes, Abigail gave me a reason to be better. But you gave me the chance to be. When every single person was against me, hell, even against you for helping me, you never gave up on me. You fought for me. I've never had that in my life. Never. Thank you for giving me the chance to prove that I am a better man."

Patting his hand with the hand he wasn't holding, I smiled.

He looked into my eyes, making sure I was fully invested in the conversation. Raising my hand to his lips, he kissed my knuckles and said,

"I'm serious, Angel."

"No, Luce. You saved yourself by finally seeing the good in life. Now, come here, stop with the mushy stuff. It's not like you to be so emotional." I laughed, gesturing for him to stand up and hug me.

Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, I leaned into his torso and wrapped my arms around him. This body felt different. It was firmer. I didn't like it; it wasn't as cuddly but I squeezed him tightly anyway. He leaned back, placing his index finger under my chin raising my face to look at him. Staring down into my eyes, he smiled, his eyes sparkled.

"Thank you, for saving me in more ways than one." 

**Author's Note:**

> Saving Angel- Book four of A Wayward Nephalem is on it's way!


End file.
